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Episode Overview:
"Unlocking Confident Communication," hosted by Brenden Kumarasamy, is a transformative podcast that equips its audience with the necessary tools to become effective communicators. Through practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert interviews, Brenden empowers listeners to overcome communication barriers, gain confidence, and develop a strong presence in various personal and professional settings. Whether it's conquering public speaking, mastering active listening, or handling difficult conversations, this podcast serves as a valuable resource for anyone seeking to enhance their communication skills and unlock their full potential to succeed in both their interpersonal relationships and career endeavors.
Additional Resources:
Skot Waldron
Brendan, what's up man? How you doing?
Brenden Kumarasamy
Good Scott, how are you?
SKOT WALDRON
Oh, I'm hanging in, hanging in. So this is, I'm gonna be a little bit selfish in this interview because I do a lot of public speaking. So I'm gonna get some free coaching on this call. I'm assuming, right? So I'll send you some money afterwards if you want.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Ha ha.
SKOT WALDRON
So, but while we're gonna talk about public speaking type stuff, because that is your expertise, I do wanna spin it to, This is just normal communication, people. Like, we just need to learn to communicate effectively and we're just gonna happen to do it through the lens of public speaking, cool?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Absolutely, and I'm a big believer in what you said Scott, because that's my mission. For me, communication is so much more than just speaking on a stage. I actually do very little of that type of coaching, where someone's on a big stage. Sometimes it happens, maybe 10% of the time. But 90% of the time, it's the way we talk to our friends, the way that we raise their family, the way that we talk to our children, the way that we engage with co-workers. It's every moment of our life, and if we learn how to communicate better in those situations, we improve the quality of that life.
SKOT WALDRON
So what is the biggest challenge people come to you with? Like what's the thing that you just like go out of the gate with and you could pitch it to anybody and they'd be like, yes, I need that because everybody needs it. I'm just gonna say that I'm not a big fan of the
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Right, so I'll give you the honest answer. This is what the challenge they come with, but the solution and the real challenge is very different. So what they come with is usually the fear. Okay, I'm scared of communication. Whenever I go to a board room, I'm deathly afraid. My voice isn't heard. How do I fix that? But the solution, which is the real challenge, in my view, Scott, is motivation. So why is that? The reason is because there's so many things in our life that we've done scared. Getting somebody on a date, getting our first job, applying for college, getting into college, finishing the degree, getting married, having children. All of these things that bring us fulfillment, not everything, but you get the idea. Those ideas we do not do with zero percent of fear. There's always some fear attached to it. Like when you started this podcast, I wanted to start my YouTube channel. So it's not about removing the fear because the relationship we have with communication is different. some amount of fear. I should just never do it at all. But the real problem that I fix for people is creating motivation for communication. Why is this even important to you? And some people might say I want to be a better mother for my children. Other people might say I want to get a promotion as an executive. Somebody else might say I want to grow my business. When you tap into that, it gives you the encouragement to then apply the structure to get the results which we can jump into as well.
SKOT WALDRON
Okay. So what is, what is something to help people dig into that motivation? Like, how do you find that? Cause I'm going to be honest, man. Like when I'm, when I'm coaching people, they're like, gosh, how do I, like people just aren't motivated. I don't even know how to motivate my people, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? Like they go on and on about the motivation thing. Um, so how do you tap into that motivation thing?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Right, so there's a few components to that. One that's a little bit deeper and other piece that you should just do every day and it'll just improve your communication. So it's like a short term and a long term solution. So the long term is by asking this question, Scott. How would your life change if you were an exceptional communicator? How would your life change if you're an exceptional communicator? So the way that you answer this question is you can do this with yourself, you can do this with a group of people. I do this with, let's say, 10 people in a room. And I just get everyone to write answers to the question. Not like three paragraphs, just three lines. And then I have everyone, the way I compare to it. It's like a buffet. Like when you go to a buffet, there's 30 dishes available. You don't have to eat everything that's on the menu. You just pick what you like and you take it home. Or we're not home, but you know, to the table and you eat it. Because if you try to take it home, then the restaurant is going to be mad at you. But the point is, is I just get everybody in the room to just give three reasons. So somebody might go, oh, to make a greater impact in my work. To show up as a better parent for my kids to show up as a better friend for the people around me. Oh, you know, Brendan, I don't really have that many friends. So if I got better at communication, I could do this. Oh, I want to get a job promotion. So what people realize when they start spitting out a bunch of answers, because it's not about being perfect, it's about progress, is we realize a key point that people can write down if they want. That communication is the accelerant of dreams. Communication is the accelerant of dreams. It doesn't matter what the dream is. want to dock. Communication helps you accelerate that outcome, really any outcome that you're looking for in your life. If you don't know how to communicate, it's really hard to get a significant other in your life because you'll just be blabbing all the time. They don't want to be around you. So it's really about realizing, going to that deeper piece and finding an answer that works for today. So it's not about going, it's kind of like your podcast is all about potential. It's not about saying, I'm going to find my purpose after one episode of 30 minutes, but rather say, what's one answer that I can live with today that helps sustain my productivity until I find a better answer. That's the way that I've always seen it. So that's one piece. And then the other piece which we can jump into whenever, when you want is the three practical exercises I just do every day that are easy. Because if you just do what's easy and you get results, you're going to want to push your communication skills to the next level.
SKOT WALDRON
Okay, here we go. Three exercises. Let's do it. I wanna know what they are, man. ..
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
You need to keep climbing the ranks. So what's ball number one for me? It's called the random word exercise, Scott. So you pick a word like pistachios, like foam, like copper, like home, and you create random presentations out of thin air. Random presentations out of thin air. And this serves two main purposes. Number one, it helps you deal with uncertainty because life is filled with it. When you go to a networking cocktail, you go to an event. You don't come there with a pre-list of questions. what's up and you see what happens. And the second piece is if you can make sense out of nonsense, you can make sense out of anything. And that's really the magic of the random word exercise, is if you talk about avocado toast for 60 seconds, you could literally talk about anything for 60 seconds, including your expertise. So five minutes a day, five words a day, do it in the shower, do this with your friends, do this when you're walking your dog, do this with your kids if you have any, and if you do it for a month, you'll have done it 150 times, you'll get pretty good at it fast.
SKOT WALDRON
that, that's pretty cool. Okay, can we do it? Real now, I'm gonna put you on spot, you wanna
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Please,
SKOT WALDRON
do it? Yeah.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
please, absolutely, give me a new word.
SKOT WALDRON
Okay, let's go. Ready? All right. Um, oh goodness. Snow cone machine.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
love that snow cone machine obviously people are listening to this he did not give me snow cone machine prior to this interview now i have to create a presentation of dinner which i'll do right now whenever i think about the winter scott i actually kind of hate it even if i've lived in muncho my whole life i think of the cold those three months january february march where i'm stuck at home and i'm shivering because i don't want to go outside but much like the cons that we might see in our life. There are definitely benefits to the snow. One is, you know, if you have a snow cone machine, you can create some nice snow cones out of it. Another benefit is you can go sliding, you can go skiing, and you can enjoy the wonders that winter has to offer for you. And one of the lessons I'm still learning in my life is even if there's an activity or a season of life that might annoy me, that might cause judgment, always a gift that we're not seeing. Imagine if snow didn't exist, how in the world would we create snow cones? It wouldn't even make sense. So for me, the benefit and the lesson for all of us today is to find those snow cone-like moments in our life, those simple little things that we might cast judgment to initially, but that end up being something really important and a key part of our life. So I encourage all of you to find those moments and those little moments will create the joy that you're looking for in your life.
SKOT WALDRON
Amen, brother, look at that. Look at that, that's like done, like master talk. That's where it is. That's what it is right there. That was masterful. Okay, I've never done this before. So hit me, hit me with a word. I wanna see what comes out of my mouth. I might just edit this whole thing out, but that's the power of being the editors that I can do that. So let's see what I do. I'm gonna go ahead and edit this. I'm gonna go ahead and edit this. I'm gonna go ahead and edit this. I'm
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
for
SKOT WALDRON
gonna
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
sure.
SKOT WALDRON
go ahead and edit this.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Let's do paint it.
SKOT WALDRON
Painting, painting. Growing up in my life, I was the artsy fartsy kid. I did a lot of art, a lot of photography, a lot of painting, a lot of skateboarding, coloring my hair, whatever it was. It was something in the sense of, how do I blaze my own path? And blazing my own path was really encapsulated through those different modes of, how do I communicate who I am in a different way? really interesting to me because, you know, unless you're some master duplicator, right, that duplicate, it is yours. No matter what you do, each stroke you're using is creating something different, is creating something unique to you. And in life, that's what it's about, blazing our own paths through each brushstroke of originality that will then help distinguish us and set us apart from the rest.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Let's go Scott. Very few people by the way in the podcast hosting department dare to do it themselves. So big hats off
SKOT WALDRON
What?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
to you man.
SKOT WALDRON
Oh, come
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I love
SKOT WALDRON
on,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
it.
SKOT WALDRON
man. You
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I
SKOT WALDRON
can't
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
love it.
SKOT WALDRON
ask you to do it and then not do it yourself.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I love it. That's leadership
SKOT WALDRON
Oh, that's
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
then.
SKOT WALDRON
so cool. Good. Okay. Let's do this. What's another one?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Absolutely. So one point that I want to jump in with before we go to number two, Scott,
SKOT WALDRON
Yeah.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
is really the idea that a lot of you are listening to podcasts right now. You're thinking, wow, Scott is so good at this exercise. But the truth is, and that's really the key, is not to compare yourselves to what we just did today. Because I've done the random word exercise with 3,000 times, literally. And you've
SKOT WALDRON
Bye.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
done so many speaking engagements. You have a lot of experience in public speaking. So for those of you who are listening your first hundred times, you don't get points for doing the exercise. well. You get points for doing the exercise a lot. So the key is really are you willing to get to 100? Because trust me when you get to 100 your whole world will change from a communication perspective. Because the first time most people do this Scott, especially if they're more introverted, they go, oh my god, I would think I could do that. Like how am I supposed to take snow cone? You know in my whole career, Scott, I've still haven't done snow cone machine. So it did catch me off guard. I was like, oh, how do I pull that one off?
SKOT WALDRON
nice.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Right? So so the key is really just to do it. find as it gets easier over time and that's what builds momentum. So that's number one. Number two is the question drill. We get asked questions all the time in our life. At school, at work, on a podcast, on a sales call, but most of us are not ready for the questions that life has prepared for us. I'll give you an example of this a few years ago. When I started guessing on podcasts, I definitely wasn't this smooth with the word exit. So I was just getting started. Right? I was listening to podcasts, but I didn't want to answer questions. So I would get on these shows and one guy asked me, hey, Brandon, where does the fear of communication come from? And I started panicking. I was like, I don't know, man. Arizona? New York?
SKOT WALDRON
Yeah.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Florida? Like, I just had
SKOT WALDRON
Yeah,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
no idea.
SKOT WALDRON
that's good, that's good.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
So I kind of messed that one up. So how did I fix this? Every single day, Scott, for five minutes. That's it. Just five minutes. I answered one question that I thought the world would be. would ask me about my expertise, my products or services. So day one, let's say, was what tips do you have for introverts? Day two was how do I overcome my fear of communication? Day three was how do I speak better on a podcast, et cetera, et cetera. But if you do this every day for five minutes for a year, you'll have done the exercise 365 times, and you'll be bulletproof, because you'll have answered 365 questions. And that's number two.
SKOT WALDRON
That that's a good one. Man, I don't even know if I could ask you a question. You haven't thought of yourself already. You could probably answer a question or come up with a question that I would love to ask you that I have no idea that I would ask because I don't really know. So, you know, so I think that's solid, you know. And so how, how would I use that? So if I'm not gonna be on podcasts, like I'm not gonna be a guest on a podcast or whatever. How do I use that in life?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Thank you for that follow up question, Scott. The very few people asked me, so I'm glad you did. So a couple of frames. Let's start with the podcast guest room, because I think that's still helpful for people. Which is, let's say I was coaching you. I mean, you're already a pretty great communicator, but let's say you wanted to get to the next level as a guest. What I would say is listen to a previous recording of you on a show, essentially, and you're only writing down all the questions they asked you in that interview. And then you go back, and every day, when you do the question drill, you take one of those questions, and you go, what if I had a second chance at this question? Why would I answer it better? So an example with me, and I'm still getting better, is a few years ago when somebody would ask me three exercises, two out of three of the ones that I'm going to share, that I've already shared most of, were actually completely different before. Right, because that's just what I knew. But then what I realized later in my career is my old ones, which I still teach people, they just can't apply it as easily as these ones. Like question drill is super easy. It's like you pick one question. So now how can we apply this outside of that rub? Let me give you a few ideas. One is let's say we're a corporate employee and we're working at a company and we have a big meeting coming up. We're promotions on the line, we have to present findings. A lot of us are worried about our executives. Oh my God, what is this person gonna ask me? Even executives are worried about their executives, right? If you're VP, you're worried about the C-suite. If you're a C-suite, you're worried about the board. You're always worried about somebody. And what you do is you guess 10 questions with the team of your colleagues. What do you think the VP's gonna ask? Let's write this down. Write down a bunch of questions and then we brainstorm together so you don't have to do this alone on what the answer would be. That's one good frame. If you're an entrepreneur, I kind of force everyone who's an entrepreneur to apply this. Here's why. Because you're selling all the time. You're selling products on sales calls. When you go give a workshop, you're going to get asked questions about your expertise. If you don't know what you're talking about, it's okay to say I don't know a few times. But if you're saying I don't know 70% of the questions you're going to ask, people aren't going to buy from you. And I'm the case study to follow, because I'm a 26 year old kid, and my average client is 20 years older than me. How's that even possible? The reason that's possible is because I've done the question drill a thousand times. So if somebody who's much older than me, who thinks I don't have the experience, they ask me a really nuanced question that only an executive would know about comms. I jump in, I give them a better answer than they would, and they go, oh, okay, I trust this person now. So if you're an entrepreneur, you do the same thing, but you can do this with your teams to make it more fun, entrepreneurs that are in your network. Hey, I have this pitch deck, I'm raising capital, or I'm trying to sell this deal. Why don't all of you terrible people, sarcastically, ask me like a bunch of hard questions about my business until I'm bulletproof. And those are just a few examples of how you can apply this.
SKOT WALDRON
I agree. Actually, having come coming off that same thought is what y'all call priming the pump, right? Is when they're going in anticipating, I'd say anticipating the feedback or the backlash or the questions that are gonna come at you or the concern, there's more of the concerns, right? People are afraid of the reaction of the people inside the room. And so if you come into that already acknowledging those things, that there may be concerns about this, or addressing, answering them before they even get the chance to ask, you're resolving concerns immediately out of the gate.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I always learned something from the host, and that was a big lesson that I don't emphasize enough, frankly, Scott. That's such a good point. And I did that a little bit earlier when I was saying, you know, around the random word exercise, I was like, I know what you're thinking right now. You're not going to do the exercise. You think you can't do it. But yeah, you can. Just do it once a day, and that alleviates those concerns. Very, very good. I call that the mind reader. But yeah,
SKOT WALDRON
Hmm.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
that's absolutely right.
SKOT WALDRON
So that's good. Yes. Okay. Brilliant. Question. Okay. Uh, drill number three.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Absolutely. Drill number three is so simple that nobody does it. Make a list of three people you love the most in your life. Could be a brother, could be a family member, a sister, a nephew, a client, a good friend. And just send them a 20 second video message. Don't overthink it. 20 seconds to just say, hey Scott, I really love the impact you're creating in the world. I'm super grateful that you're in my life. Thanks so much for being you. Hope you're having a wonderful day. That's it. And if you do this every day to three people. for a year, you'll have sent a thousand video messages and you'll have made a thousand people's day better. But here's the punchline. There's one rule to this. I want people to write down and follow around the video messages and it's the secret how to give great video messages Scott. And the rule is you're not allowed to retake the video. Just send what you have. Whatever you have, you just send it. And if you do that all the time, you'll be pretty good at video pretty fast.
SKOT WALDRON
Do you have a thousand people that you know? Like, you're a big deal, Brandon. And so, I'm gonna go
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Right.
SKOT WALDRON
back to the beginning of this video.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
No, so the way I see it is more just to exaggerate the point. So I have probably a few. So I do send on average two to three video messages a day. But a lot of those times, it's often people I already know or new clients. So I'll give you one example of how you apply. Great. I love your follow-ups, by the way, that nobody asked me. So I'm glad you do. Because I like to exaggerate things just to get people to take action.
SKOT WALDRON
Impact.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Yeah,
SKOT WALDRON
It's impact, man.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
yeah,
SKOT WALDRON
Impact.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
yeah. It's in fact. So one of those things that I do, religiously, that I started doing three months ago is I have a CRM on my Google Calendar and it tells me there's like a 6 a.m. meeting I never wake up for 6 a.m. but it just says that on my Google Calendar on whose
SKOT WALDRON
Thank you.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
client's birthday it is that day or a good friend's birthday or a family member's birthday and literally I start or I end my day by taking a stupid birthday hat that I bought at Amazon for 15 bucks I open my video camera my video camera just my phone and I just go guess whose birthday it is it's yours I hope you're having an amazing day and always makes me couple days ago I got a big weird birthday hat on and everyone was just like wow this is so cool. So that's how I impact. I'm going to get to a thousand soon, like a thousand individual people, but I'm probably at a few hundred right now.
SKOT WALDRON
That's awesome. I love it, man, I love it. Yeah, I think, so I do something a little bit similar when I'm doing one of my keynotes and I just gave this actually on Tuesday, where we talk about it. So I have people write a letter, which is a thank you letter, like during the keynote. It's like two sentences long and they write this letter and What it does though, and the reason we're doing this, and it's the same effect you're having, is that we get a dopamine hit, like a short little, the person getting it's like this little, like dopamine hit somebody thought about me, oh, that's cool. But then serotonin kicks in, which is the pride hormone. And it's this thing that you're getting it because you're sending this message, right? So it's your pride a little bit, you're proud of what you're doing. They get a serotonin kick and they're proud of the fact And so everybody's chemical level positive chemical levels rising and if this was multiplied throughout the world That's cool, right if we can multiply that good feeling hormone That's that's impact
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
And the point also, Scott, love that by the way, is it doesn't cost us a dime.
SKOT WALDRON
Mm-mm.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Sending that thank you letter, it's a great example of that. It takes 30 seconds. You write a few sentences, send it, or if it's a handwritten card, it takes a few minutes. And the video message takes 20 seconds. And that's really what really impacts people. I love that.
SKOT WALDRON
Mm, dig it. All right. So this is great. Exercises are cool. What people come to you about the fear thing. What is one of the major downfalls that we should avoid as communicators? What is the thing that immediately undermines our influence that we need to just stop doing immediately?
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
absolutely scott you know there's there's so many like mistakes that people can make and speak that's why i don't like to list all the matter the big one just because i don't like the fear focus on the conversation here's the biggest mistake though that people make having said that is that people bought the gym membership but they don't go to the gym so what does that mean that means everybody's listening to this podcast i'll tell you the biggest mistake that we're all making right now which is this well scott you've earned some cool branded guy for master i don't know where you found this guy but he's I'm fitting some good tips and I'm writing all these tips down. The random word exercise, the question drill, the video message, but the next day they don't do any of them. And that's really ball number four, which is the best way to speak is to speak. We don't admire the person who buys the gym membership. We admire the person who's consistent 300 days out of the year to actually go to the gym and work. So for all of you, the biggest takeaway is are you booking? 15 minutes in your calendar every single day to do all three of these exercises. So that means five minutes. Random word exercises. Do this in your car if you've got a kid. Do it as a back and forth. It's a great family bonding activity. People love it. Just do it. Don't worry about the result. Just focus on the process. Question draw. Just write out five, ten questions. If you're a business owner, this should be easy for you. Just write out a bunch of questions. Take five minutes every day, answer one. Your sales will go up. You'll see the results pretty quickly. You'll go, oh, this is fun. Now let me do this to my wife. my husband. Okay, when they ask me to take out the trash, why am I responding to that question? And that's really the point. And then the third one is the video message. Send a few. Because a lot of you are thinking this, oh my God, if I sent a video message, well people think of me. Oh, I send this video message and people go, oh, they're going to point out all my mistakes. And I'll tell you a story around that. It's gone. There's a woman named Christina who interviewed me. This is probably a year ago. And I told her about this exercise. And she said, oh, you know, I got grandparents who live on the other side of the country. Not like parents, grandparents. So they barely even know what Facebook is. And she goes, you know what? I'm gonna send them a video message. And it made her grandparents day. They didn't care about whether Christina had makeup or not. They didn't care about whether she was smiling or not, or if she made any of the mistakes or got everything right. They were just happy to hear her voice because it's been so long. And I think that's the magic that we should all focus on, which is implementation.
SKOT WALDRON
There you go. Implementation. Throw out your little quote about becoming and consistency. You remember what it was? You said it on your YouTube channel. I know you say a lot of things on your YouTube channel. It's
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Right.
SKOT WALDRON
something like if you want to become consistent or if you want to concentrate on the...
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I think I know where you're going. You're alluding to the quote around practice consistently so that you consistently become the person you want to be or something like
SKOT WALDRON
Yeah,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
that.
SKOT WALDRON
yeah, yeah, that.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I've kind of changed the quote a little bit because that was when I started Master Talk. But it's still a good quote. But I would say that my new version of it is if you communicate 20% better than your competition, you will stand out 100% of the time. So what that
SKOT WALDRON
Mm.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
means is like, let's say you're an accountant listening to this. And you send birthday video message just your clients. I can pretty much guarantee you with the hat thing, even without the hat actually, finish the hat, you can throw it to the side. You're probably the only accountant in America who's doing that on a consistent basis, or in a very small handful of people. And that's what I want people to drive, is you don't need to get all of this perfect. I need to, because I'm the person teaching this to other people, but for everyone listening to this, if you're like a carpenter, you're a plumber, you're an online entrepreneur, but you'll realize quickly is that most people have never done a hundred video messages in their life. Like you can do it a hundred times and never touch the exercise again. They've never done a hundred random word exercises let alone one and they've never really done the question drill that much. So if you just do them, like not even do them well, you're really gonna stand out from everyone else in your industry.
SKOT WALDRON
Yep, it's that consistency, right? It's the little, it's the, you know, what we'll say is, is, well, I'll tell people it's not, it's not the grand gestures that'll make the biggest impact. It's the million little micro moments. So, you know,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
I love that, yeah.
SKOT WALDRON
it's just just bam, bam, hit it, hit it, hit it, you know, and go to the gym five minutes. You know, I don't, you don't have to go for an hour and, you know, it's five minutes. Just go for five minutes. Hit that thing, hit that gym. And we're talking about, you know, the verbal gym, right? Or the, the mind gym. to do is just going, you know, purchase that gym membership and actually use it. So good stuff, man. I love this. I love this. Okay. Now master talk, tell us about master talk really quick and, uh, how do people get in touch with you? Why would people get in touch with you? Who gets in touch with you, et cetera.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
First of all, Scott, it's so good to be on by the way. Thanks for having me. So two ways to keep in touch. The first one is the YouTube channel MasterTalk. My aim with that is to create an encyclopedia of free information on communication. So you'll have answers to a lot of the questions that you might think around communication, how to build better relationships with people, how to overcome communication barriers, how to communicate bad news. So if you want access to that, just go to YouTube and type master talk in one word, and you'll have access to hundreds of free videos and how to speak. And this is really everybody, you know, it's not really anyone in particular. You could be an eight-year-old listening to this, you could be a big-time executive. I do a free communication workshop over Zoom that's live every two weeks. And this is not just like a recording, I'm there, I'm facilitating the call, it's a lot of fun. So if you want to jump on that and learn more about communication, just go to rockstarcommunicator.com.
SKOT WALDRON
There you go. You are a rock star, Brendan.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Thanks
SKOT WALDRON
I
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
for
SKOT WALDRON
don't
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
that.
SKOT WALDRON
know if anybody ever told you that, but you are. So hey, man, it's been really fun. Thanks for the tips. I learned something and I got to like, you know, work out with you, which was pretty cool. So that was fun, man. I enjoyed it. It was awesome.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
The pleasure
SKOT WALDRON
All right,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
is
SKOT WALDRON
man.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
mine.
SKOT WALDRON
Yeah, be good. Take care up there. Okay.
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
You too.
SKOT WALDRON
Okay, let's let's so I'm not I'm not going to have my my little my question on about the introvert extrovert thing, but I'm gonna ask you real quick. What do you want? What do you want introverts to know about being an extrovert? So
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Thank you.
SKOT WALDRON
go
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Thank you.
SKOT WALDRON
ahead and repeat the question back to me. I mean, just put in the phrase of a answer, you know,
BRENDEN KUMARASAMY
Absolutely. So what do I want people to know about extroverts, especially if you're introvert listening to this? What I'll say is like introverts or extroverts, we all have strengths and weaknesses, especially in the regards toward communication skills. But what's often not spoken about is what are the weaknesses around extroverts? Let me give you a few of them. Number one, extroverts are horrible listeners. They're so bad at it. That's why I make a great guess and I make a terrible host. Because I like yapping all the time. talking so it took me a long time and I'm still working on it on how can I listen deeply to other people whereas intramurts don't really have that problem because they they live in silence they speak a lot less on average so it's really easy for them to listen more effectively. The second piece is the pause. Extramurts are horrible at pausing when they're speaking because whenever they're at a party and there's a pause they immediately want to fill it up. Scott what's your favorite color? They always Whereas an injured is really just happy to staring into your eyes for 30 minutes and not saying anything. Because they just live in silence. So that's really the second piece. Is experts are not going to get at pausing. So it took me a long time. And you'll notice that even when I speak my pacing goes a little too quick. So sometimes I need to really take a step back. And the third piece is accessibility. Extraverts, especially the most extroverted people in the world are often very polarizing. Gary Vaynerchuk is probably the best example that comes to mind. Right the CEO and founder of VaynerMedia you either really really love the guy or you really really don't so I personally love the guy a lot I've a lot of respect for his work, and there's other people go. Oh my god I would ever take bring this person here my kids. He's always swearing all the time. He's crazy So that's the disadvantage of being an extrovert Where as somebody like Susan Kane or Bernay Brown or even Simon Sinek to a certain extent Nobody really says I hate Bernay Brown. Nobody says that right which I don't know how you could by the way could she so amazing but Because nobody says that, she's more accessible to other people. So I think the key is not whether we're intro or extroverted, but rather spending more time thinking about who we are, but also studying the other side of the coin and trying to get everybody's strengths.
