Hello, welcome to another episode of Unlocked. We are going to talk about unlocking the potential of people. Literally, that is what we're going to talk about. I've got Kyle DeFur on the show. He is the president of the National Christian Foundation of Indiana. We're going to talk about his journey from healthcare, where he served 25 years as the president of the St. Vincent Indianapolis Hospital in Indianapolis and we're going to shift into how he landed where he is now, and what that middle piece, how that added... His job in-between there at trueU, how that shaped his way of thinking now. It's really, really powerful. Kyle is easygoing, really fun, really dynamic guy. He dropped some really great pieces of wisdom on us in this interview. I'm really excited for you to hear it, so here we go.
Mr. Kyle, it is so good to have you on the show. Appreciate you being here.
Kyle DeFur:
Thanks you, Skot. Great to be on the show. Appreciate the opportunity.
Skot Waldron:
Yeah, this is going to be a really good conversation. You and I have spoken before, we had some great conversation then, and we were like, You know what? We should make this official. So, here we are.
KYLE DEFUR:
Wonderful, great. Thankful to have the opportunity to be on the show today, Skot.
SKOT WALDRON:
There is something that you said in your notes to me that I thought was really great. I never really thought about this. I believe culture all starts on the inside. It's an inside thing and then it manifests itself on the outside, but you actually called it an inside job. I love that phrase. We look at that "inside job" terminology in movies and, "Oh, that was an inside job." But I love your little twist on that. Was that something you just came up with in your notes to me or was that something you use regularly?
KYLE DEFUR:
No, I think it's something that I've been aware of, that I've been made aware of, over the last number of years. I was with an organization called trueU that did culture development, just really went deep on culture and leadership development. It was fascinating for me to hear the stories from the leaders and from senior team members. They talked about their organizations and talked about the culture that they wanted. Hearing their experiences, those that were struggling, those who were not where they wanted to be as well as those that were successful. I think some reflection around that helped me to clarify, as I heard people talk about it, that it was really about you can articulate here's what we want our culture to be, but the reality is, it's how people experience other leaders, especially top leaders, relationally that determines what that culture is.
So if a leader is in a healthy place in their life or in an unhealthy place, that shows itself, you can't hide that and people experience that. So ultimately, if a leader is moving forward in their life and his in a good spot in terms of gratitude and how they treat people and how they think about people, if that's consistent with their values, there's a much higher likelihood that that culture will be brought to life in the organization.
And the opposite of that is true as well. If they're not in a good spot, if it's really about them, or if people feel like the objectives of the person are not virtuous or not consistent with what they've articulated, the mission and the values of the organization, the culture they talk about, the likelihood of that actually coming to life is much less likely.
SKOT WALDRON:
Yeah, I love that. How you experience that leader is going to drive that overall impression, that overall feel of that organization.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
When I talk... So I come from that marketing, brand strategy background, I deal with external communication. I would say the same thing deals with an organization is how the customers experience that organization on a day-to-day basis
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
Is how that impression that they're going to leave with. And I think that that applies so much to personal brand leadership, to what I call a "team brand," or whatever you feel about that team or that leader, it's that impression that we leave with that is going to drive our love or disdain for that organization.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah. And I think it requires a high level, a willingness to step into self awareness. None of us are perfect. We may say this is our culture, this is our values, these are our values and none of us are going to be a 100% on that scale. But there's degrees of misses in that in our lives that we have to be honest about. And if we're falling short, we need to be willing to listen to feedback from others and understand what's it like to experience me as a leader, which is really uncomfortable, by the way. But if you're honest about wanting to really bring these values and this culture to life, I have to understand to what degree am I, as a leader, aligned with that or not aligned with that.
I think it's also, you have to be careful as well, I think, when you talk about brand, because sometimes people will think of brand as a way to spin who we say that we are. Let's present this appearance of this is who we are, this is our brand, and that feels disingenuous. So it's really ultimately about I want to be authentic as a leader, consistent with what we say we want our brand to be. And that's going deeper. That's going to another level, but my experiences as organizations that have great cultures, their leaders are willing to go there. They're willing to say, "Hey, these are what we espouse as our values and what we want our culture to be, and I want to live consistently with that. I'm never going to be perfect, but that's my goal. I'm giving you the permission to give me feedback in regards to that, what it's like to experience me in the light of that, because this is really important and I want that for our organization, and I want to be growing in a healthy way as well."
SKOT WALDRON:
Yeah. I used to always tell my clients, and I'll tell the leaders that I coach now, your brand isn't what you say it is, it's what other people say it is.
KYLE DEFUR:
Exactly, exactly.
SKOT WALDRON:
My kids have a different brand of impression of me than my team does, than my clients do, than my wife does, than my parent... We've got these micro brands that are going around the world, and it's really all the mass sum of those impressions that make up who we are. It's what people say about us when we're not in the room and that's really what we need to take with us as leaders, is what is the impression I'm leaving by the way I'm behaving right now?
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah, exactly.
SKOT WALDRON:
The way I'm carrying out my communication.
KYLE DEFUR:
Exactly. Yeah, and I think if I'm honest, I'm really want to live that out, I'm going to be more focused on the inner work that I need to do versus the external appearance of how I want to look, because it's easy to take all that energy and focus on, "Here's how I want people to think about me and feel about me. Therefore, I'm going to do X." As opposed to saying, "I've got some internal work to do to live consistently with these values and missions."
It's just a matter of focus and being internally self-aware, focused and saying, "Hey, I want to do the things that I need to do to really embrace this and be on a healthy journey myself," versus trying to present that I'm this way externally when in fact I may not be, or that may not be what I'm really interested, I just know it's important for people to think that that's what's important.
SKOT WALDRON:
Yeah, and I think-
KYLE DEFUR:
One's really genuine, one's disingenuous.
SKOT WALDRON:
And I think a lot of people saw that from the external standpoint with organizations.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
During the COVID stuff because under times of stress is when you really start to see the true color of a leader.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
Right?
KYLE DEFUR:
That's right.
SKOT WALDRON:
Is, that leader can come across as this way and they can smooth it over and they can talk and they can do... But when stress hits, that is when it's going to be really important that that self-work that you're talking about has been done.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
Because now I'm going back into my training. Now I'm back into what I've learned about myself, the triggers, the way my tendencies work and how to control those in order to make sure that I'm behaving in a correct manner.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah, absolutely. No, that's exactly it. I couldn't agree more. That's exactly right.
SKOT WALDRON:
Now, what do you think is the key role of a leader?
KYLE DEFUR:
I guess I think of it in terms of two facets. One is as a leader in an organization, my role is to bring the mission to life. This is what the mission of the organization is and so as a leader, my role is to do what I can to bring that mission to life. But I think, and so that gets to what we were just talking about in terms of my values and the values of the organization, because it's not just bringing the mission to life, it's bringing it to life consistent in a way that's consistent behaviorally with what we say our values are. So we want to accomplish the mission, but we want to do it... We also say these are our values, so we want to accomplish a mission behaving in a way that's consistent with our values. So that's, a leader's role is to accomplish both of those things. Accomplish a mission but to do it in a way that's consistent with our values.
I think the other role as a leader is to see potential in others and help bring that potential to life. And so in large part, a leader's role is also seeing the potential in others, maybe that they don't even see themselves, and bringing that to life so that you're raising other leaders up within the organization and helping them to become all that they were intended to be and maximizing the potential that they have as well.
And I share those two things, Skot from, from my own perspective and my own experience that I had. I remember when... I was in healthcare for 25 years and early on in my healthcare career, I was the director of a department. I had a meeting with the chief of operating officer one day. He called me into his office and shut the door. He says, "Kyle, career wise, what do you see yourself doing down the road? What are goals that you have? What would you like to see, would you like to accomplish?" I said, "I think that I would like to be a vice president of operations in the hospital at some point, I think that would be a really cool role to have. That's a goal that I have." And he said, "Kyle," he said, "let me give you some feedback." He said, "I think you could be the CEO of this hospital, or a larger hospital than what we are here." And he said, "I don't know if you want that or not," he said, "I'm just telling you have the skills and the ability to be able to do that. There's some things you need to work on, but if you want to do that, I'm willing to come alongside you and help you in that journey. But you need to let me know if that's a goal that you want."
And I remember, Skot, walking out of that meeting, walking out of the office and this big smile came across my face. And I said, "Wow I've never thought of that for me before, that I could be CEO of the hospital or the health system." What he was doing was he was doing what I think is the role of a leader, and that's to identify potential in those that you work with, that work for you or work in the same organization with you. And if you see potential in them, you speak that into them. You help raise the bar for them in terms of what they could accomplish because they may not see that in themselves. We all have our own life experiences and they may not see that as a potential for them.
I think of the movie Lion King, Mufasa says, "You are more than what you've become." That's really what the leader does, is speak that into the life of other leaders. You have to be honest, you have to be genuine. You can't speak something that you don't see, but often times people need that in their lives to be able to have a vision, to become maybe what they hadn't seen in themselves before.
And so over the course, I was so grateful. It was really my career when Jerry, I had that experience with him, but I've been able to embrace that over the years and have gone on a journey which is a lot of fun. I think it's one of the privileges of being a leader. For me, it was the fun part of being a leader is looking for that in others, seeing those diamonds in the rough, seeing those leaders that have great potential, if they're willing to do the hard work and go down the road, that they could grow and maybe even accomplish more than what they've envisioned for themselves. So, I see that as a key of other leaders as well.
SKOT WALDRON:
And you went on to be the president of a hospital.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah, I did, and I was thankful for that. And again, was given the opportunity to be in roles that I would've never envisioned that I could be in those kind of roles before.
I had another experience when I was in high school. I played football in high school. When I was in junior high, I remember we were doing a drill. I was on defense on this drill. I played on the offense and when I was in junior high, and I missed a tackle or whatever this drill, and the coach made some very derogatory comment that it would be a cold cold day in hell when I would play defense, was his comment. I remember that. And then I switched schools, went to other school, in high school I played football and I was on offense, didn't play defense. But my senior year, one of the coaches came and said, "We'd like you to play defensive back this year, in addition to playing an offense." And I said, "Well, okay." But in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "Cold day in hell," right?
But the second game of the year, I had a great game. I just did. I don't know why. The three defensive backs, I was the slowest of the defensive backs, but I had a great game and the defensive back coach who had a lot... He was a coordinator who had a lot of respect for, came up to me after the game and he said, "Kyle, you played like an all-state defensive back tonight. There wasn't another defensive back in the state of Indiana that played better at their position than you did today." He said, "I think you're an all-state defensive back."
Same kind of experience I had with Jerry. It was a sense of, he re... [missing audio 00:16:14] a vision for me of what I could accomplish or who I was that meant a lot to me. I remember during the year in other games, that's the script that would play in my mind in a tight situation, I was on defense. In the same way, I ended up as like third in team defensive back, all-state. But it was just such a... Both of those experiences for me were formative to understand the value of speaking into someone's life what they can be and that script is so important in their lives when it comes from a credible source who sees potential in them.
SKOT WALDRON:
That is powerful. I don't know why there's always football stories with... The contrast of leadership with football coaches, because I get this all the time. I'm coaching my people. They're like, "I played football back in college." And we're talking about who has liberated you in your life. Think about that one person that's just totally liberated you, they created so much strength in you and empowerment and opportunity. They're like, "Gosh, I had this football coach. He was awesome. He inspired me. I still remember, to this day, this thing he said." And then I'm like, "Okay, think about somebody in your life that has completely dominated you. That is just, you do not have any respect for." They're like, "This other football coach." It's always the football coach contrast. You get those really rough football coaches that just get in your face and push you down and discourage you, and whatever. But then you get those others that you know are for you.
KYLE DEFUR:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
SKOT WALDRON:
It's like that not just in football, but it's like that in a lot of areas of our life, and your example is perfect for that. That dialogue that you had in your mind of, "Cold day in hell, cold day in hell before, cold day..."
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
You run that, and the more you run that soundtrack, the more you start to believe it.
KYLE DEFUR:
That's right.
SKOT WALDRON:
And as soon as that coach said "all-star, this is you," you had that dialogue. You flipped the script, you played it differently and it changed your whole outlook.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
That's the power of a leader.
KYLE DEFUR:
It is. And what a responsibility. It can be a huge privilege if you look at it that way and you look for those diamonds in the rough, and you want to add value into their lives, but it can also be dangerous because the words you use can cut people down, minimize their ability and their potential. So it's a great responsibility to be in a position of leadership.
SKOT WALDRON:
You had an interesting, yeah, I guess question in here that I wanted to ask you, that you like to be asked about, is these three questions that we ask our leaders. What are those three questions that we tend to ask of our leaders?
KYLE DEFUR:
I heard this from, this is not my own, it's from Lou Holtz, legendary football coach. Going back to football again, I guess, but I heard him speak, again, early in my career. He was just sharing his philosophy and he said there's three questions that we all ask of each other. Subconsciously, we ask these three questions of each other. First one is, are you committed to excellence? The second one is, can I trust you? And the third one is, do you care about me as a person? In other words, do you care about me more than from what I can provide for you, per se, in the organization that we work in? But do you care about me as a person, my own development, my own experiences outside of work, as well as within work as well? He said, if you can answer yes to those three questions in the minds of the people that you work with or that work for you, or are on your team, you've laid the groundwork to be a person of influence and to be an effective leader. Those are foundational to leadership.
It's so simple. So many books on leadership with stuff out there on leadership, it can be overwhelming. I heard that early on in my career and I grabbed onto it. I have, over the years, when I meet with people that I'm working with or that report to me, I'll say, "Here's three questions I'm going to ask of you. You need to know I'm going to be asking... In my mind, I'm asking these three questions of you. And also know that you're going to be asking these three of me. I give you permission to ask these three questions of me and to give me feedback if you feel like I'm not living up one of these three, if you don't feel like I have a commitment to excellence where I'm raising the bar, where I really want to do excellent work and do what's right. Secondly, that I'm trustworthy. That I'm honest, that I'm transparent, that I do what I say I'm going to do, that you can trust me, that I'm trustworthy. And a third, that I care about you as a person, not just for the work that you do in this organization, but I care about you as a whole person: spiritually, from a family perspective, every aspect of your life. I want to see you succeed."
That's been really helpful for me, Skot, in terms of, number one, being held accountable to that, but also them knowing these are the questions I'm going to ask of them in the intent of helping them to be effective in their leadership roles as well, has been important. When you think of when you think of those three questions, you ask yourself, "Well, who's the best person I ever worked for?" And then you get that person in your mind, you measure that person against these three questions. Were they committed to excellence? Could I trust them? And then, did they care about me as a person? I will guarantee you that the best person you ever worked for, all three of those were yes. And then you think about people that maybe you didn't enjoy working for as well and ask those three questions. I'll bet at least one of those, if not more than one of those, was a no.
It's a very simple methodology, but it's one that's helped me, number one, be accountable to those three questions, but it's been helpful... So when I'm dealing with someone and we all have this in leadership and somebody that you work with or works for you, and you see that something's not right. You can tell they're kind of scratching their head or they're not making eye contact, there's an issue between me and them. I go to those three questions in my mind and I ask them, questions around those three, to understand, have I violated that in some way? Because I need to clear the ear with them. And ask forgiveness, oftentimes, is a way to do it, to say, "I'm sorry. I can see how you felt that way and I take responsibility for that. I'm going to be intentional about doing better in this area with you, and I apologize for that." The majority of time they'll receive that, then you can relay the groundwork and continue in your working relationship together with them.
SKOT WALDRON:
That's beautiful, because you know who else you could use those questions with? Your spouse.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
Right?
KYLE DEFUR:
Absolutely, absolutely.
SKOT WALDRON:
Isn't that... That's fascinating.
KYLE DEFUR:
[crosstalk 00:23:25] did. Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
With our kids. We can use it with our friends. We can use it with any of those relationships on our life. I call them circles of influence. We can use them with ourselves, like, "Do I feel I'm committed to excellence? Do I trust myself? And do I care about myself?"
KYLE DEFUR:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
SKOT WALDRON:
Just self-reflection. Use it with our family, use it with our team, our company and our community, the five circles of influence. We can really apply those questions to every circle of our lives.
KYLE DEFUR:
Absolutely.
SKOT WALDRON:
And that's so simple, so powerful. So, very cool, Kyle. Thanks for sharing that.
KYLE DEFUR:
Absolutely.
SKOT WALDRON:
I want to talk about the National Christian Foundation a little bit there. I'm particularly interested in... I didn't prep you for this.
KYLE DEFUR:
Fine.
SKOT WALDRON:
So let's just wing it, Kyle. How has your faith shaped the way you lead? And is it different within the National Christian Foundation versus any other leadership roles that you've had? Talk about that dynamic a little bit of how faith plays into the way you lead in different areas of companies and industries you've led in.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah, great question, Skot. I think that ultimately we have to ask ourselves, I think we should ask ourselves the question, "What does it mean for me to be successful?" I went through some real soul searching around that. I think it's a question we all kind of subconsciously ask, but I was very intentional about it when I was in healthcare. In fact, when I made the transition out of healthcare and went to trueU, an organization focused on culture development and people development, was there for seven years, I had to ask myself that question because I was feeling called to move in a different direction. It didn't make any sense in terms of I've done this for 25 years, I've had a lot of success in my healthcare career. There were other opportunities that I perhaps was going to have within the company and the organization that I was working in.
But I felt being called to do something very different, and I, in essence, left running a $1.2 billion hospital and went and started a nonprofit, small nonprofit organization. Took about a 75, 80% pay cut to do that. Why would you do that? I mean, why would you do that? I had to do it in the context of what does it mean to be successful for me and defining that. I was feeling led and called to do some work and to pursue this area of mentoring others and building healthy cultures. I ultimately settled on what it meant for me to be successful, and that was choosing to be joyfully obedient to God's leading as I best understand it at that time.
That was my definition of success. And I felt that when I'm old and sitting on the porch in a rocking chair and I'm looking back on my life, that was the lens I wanted to look at it through. Did I feel like I was being obedient to God's leading, and choosing to be joyfully obedient to it? Not reluctantly, but choosing to be joyfully obedient to His leading as I understood it, even if I didn't understand it at the time, even in retrospect. But I was doing what I felt what I was being called to do at that time as best I could understand it. And to me, that's success. That's success.
That's not a worldly view of success. That's not a "make as much money as you can, have a highest position you can, be admired by many people." That's not that definition of success. It's really about choosing to be faithfully obedient to God's leading as you understand it.
That was the lens that I made the transition out of, healthcare to trueU, and then made the transition to this work as well. And so, interestingly, I've been in this role about four months now at the National Christian Foundation, my wife and I opened a donor advice fund through the National Christian Foundation about five years ago. And we had known and seen a couple others who had gone this direction, and just seeing the tremendous generosity in their lives as they became focused on making kingdom impact with how they had been blessed, and how they were doing that through the National Christian Foundation. My wife and I decided to move in that direction and started down this journey of biblical generosity, and I found great joy in it.
So when the National Christian Foundation... Greg James, who'd been the president here, National Christian Foundation of Indiana, decided he was retiring. They put a search community together and one of those persons on the search committee reached out. And I said to my wife, "I've never thought of that before, but what a cool role that would be. Wouldn't that be really, really awesome, to have the opportunity to be in that kind of role?" So we prayed about it and went down that journey, and again, felt led to move in this direction away from trueU. I think that it's acknowledging God's work in our lives. We don't know which way the wind blows. If you'd have told me three years before I left healthcare that I'd be leaving healthcare, I would have said, "You're nuts. What are you talking about? This is what I do and this is what I love to do." But it's that notion of attempting to be sensitive, I think, to the Spirit's leading and choosing to be joyfully obedient to it with the twist and turns in the road and just trusting. It's part of the faith journey, is trusting even when it may not make sense at the time. Sometimes we're given the benefit of being able to look back and seeing how it fit together, which gives great joy. Sometimes not, but that's part of the faith journey.
SKOT WALDRON:
I always relate that faith journey back to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, throwing the sand out over the invisible bridge that he couldn't quite see. It's so ingrained in the minds of all of us that experienced Indiana Jones.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
That step, right? That just big step. Of course, we're all thinking, "Couldn't you have just gotten on your knees and felt with your hands? You didn't have to jeopardize your whole life." But there's no drama in that.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yes. That's great.
SKOT WALDRON:
I love the joyful obedience. That is so powerful because, sure, we go, "Yeah, obedience. Obedience, obedience." It's just a principle of the gospel and the things that we do in our lives, but joyful obedience is different because, you even said, it's not reluctant obedience.
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah.
SKOT WALDRON:
Or resentful obedience, or whatever it could be because there's options and you can choose to be joyful about that thing or not, and that's a powerful choice.
KYLE DEFUR:
Oh yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I think embracing obedience in a joyful way even when you don't understand it has a tremendous value. It gives, I think, God smiles. It gives Him great joy when His children step into obedience even when they don't understand it, even when it's difficult. That means a lot to Him.
I think of my own kids and my experiences with them. I remember when... Because it's really not about the gift or the sacrifice, because He owns it all anyway, so He's not going to be impressed with any of that, but I remember when my kids were young and they had this thing at school, it was the Christmas Closet where they could go in and they give them $5, the parents could give him $5 and they could go in and they pick out a gift and they would wrap it for the parents, and you didn't know what it was. It was the one gift that they got for you. I remember our oldest son, Cameron, he got the gift and he would be so excited Christmas morning. He could not wait to give you this gift. He was all excited about it. And I, as the father, loved receiving it from him. I remember one year he got me these little sunglasses, kind of goofy little sunglasses. He was so excited to give them to me. I opened them up and I said, "Oh, this is great! This is wonderful." Really letting him know how much I appreciate it. He couldn't wait to see my expression when I got them.
I remember thinking the same way, that when we give our gifts to God, whatever that gift is, or He asks us to do something and we step into it and we do it joyfully, expecting Him... Even if we don't understand what it's going to mean, that that gives the Father's heart joy, when we give and we step into what He's called us to do, not knowing what it means or what the implications are. It's all His, anyway. It means a lot to Him when we do it joyfully. It's the attitude in which we do it. If my son would've come to me reluctantly thinking, "I could have spent this $5 on gum for myself, but here you go anyway," that would've felt completely different to me as a father. It was the joy that he... I gave him the money, but the joy that he gave in giving me that gift, it gave him to give me the gift, meant so much to me. I think our Heavenly Father, it's the same way. It's all His, but when we give joyfully, maybe not even understanding, it means a lot to Him, it means a lot to the Father.
SKOT WALDRON:
It's an amazing, amazing story, and amazing way to sum up this whole conversation, and flipping it onto... I mean, we've gone from leadership to this grandiose spiritual high. And I think that when we reflect it back to leadership, and not that we demand obedience from our team, but when there is a gift that is given from a team member, joyfully, and they're there to serve, they're there to give because they believe that you are committed to excellence. They trust you and you care about them. They feel that, they feel that you are for them? They're going to pour into you so much. And we saw that as well during of COVID stuff, right?
KYLE DEFUR:
Yes, you're right.
SKOT WALDRON:
The leaders having the hard conversation of, "Hey there's some tough stuff going on right now." And those individuals, those employees that knew that leader was for them, was like, "I know. I'm going to fight for you. I'm going to take a pay cut to help you out. I will take some... I'll furlough. What do you need that I can help you so I can help all of us?"
KYLE DEFUR:
Yes. Absolutely.
SKOT WALDRON:
And that is almost the message of God. Is this, how can we give to the point where it's helping you help all of us? And that-
KYLE DEFUR:
Exactly.
SKOT WALDRON:
That's beautiful.
KYLE DEFUR:
Exactly.
SKOT WALDRON:
Thanks for sharing that message, Kyle. Anything else you want to drop on us? A tweetable moment or something, Kyle? Anything you want to leave with us before we go?
KYLE DEFUR:
No, I think this faith journey is an adventure. It's an adventure and we can trust the Father who leads us on it. And it may not, it's not going to all make sense in the course of this life, but we can trust Him. I've been given the blessing and the honor to live a number of years and to see that. We all have questions as we go through our journey, but we can trust the Father's heart in that, and that makes all the difference.
SKOT WALDRON:
Beautiful. If people want to get in touch with you, Kyle, where do they go?
KYLE DEFUR:
Yeah, you could reach out to me: kdefur, D-E-F-U-R, @ncfgiving.com. I'd be happy to connect.
SKOT WALDRON:
You rock. This is awesome. This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thank you, Kyle, for pouring to us and good luck.
KYLE DEFUR:
Great Skot, thanks so much. And thanks for the great work that you're doing. Keep up the great work, man.
SKOT WALDRON:
So what is the role of a leader? Number one, bring the mission to life that's consistent with your values. So, don't just bring it to life, but bring it to life that's consistent with the values. And then, see the potential in others. I told you at the beginning of the show we're going to talk about unlocking the potential of people; that's what Kyle says. That's the second job of a leader, to see the potential in that individual and unlock it, help them unlock it, inspire them. And we heard that great story about the one coach versus the other coach and what kind of mindset that puts into that individual. Think about what is the thing, the phrase, the wording you are inputting into somebody's brain that they're going to repeat over and over, and over, and over again. That dialogue is shaping the way they behave and the way that they communicate with others. So you have an impression, you make an impression, you have an impact on those you lead.
Three questions: are you committed to excellence? Can I trust you? And, do you care about me? Excellence, trust, care. Ask yourself those questions about the people in your life. Not just the people you lead, but also the people you interact with. And, do they build you up? Do you build them up? Is there that common ground going?
And joyfully obedient. We have a choice and that choice is to be joyful or whatever the opposite is of joy. You have a choice and I think that we have to be intentional about that choice because it's really easy to be negative. It's really easy to be pessimistic. It's really easy to see the downside of things because we're built that way. Preservation is what we're all about, our brains are all about preserving who we are and our lives, so to think about the positive side of things, it can be challenging at times. So think about that, being joyfully obedient.
Kyle, thank you, sir. You are amazing. I appreciate you being on the show. If y'all want to find out more about me, you can go to skotwaldron.com. I've got free resources there. My blog is all there. You can find out more about what I do. Go to YouTube. Like, subscribe, comment and do all that stuff there. I've got some free tools, some free resources there for you. You can learn, engage and understand a little bit more about yourself, and really, really bitesize cool learnings. So, thank you all for being here, I'll see you next time on another episode of Unlocked.
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