Unlocking Real Influence With Lida Citroën

Skot Waldron (00:00.231)
In this. love it. I have good people on the call. mean, it's selfish for me because I get to network and meet new people. yeah, there you go. So tell me a little bit, have you done a Riverside interview before? Okay. All right. So don't go anywhere when we're done. It's got to upload and all that stuff. If it gets pixelated, it's still uploading high res on your side of my side. So just let it go. How can I serve you?

Lida Citroën (00:09.612)
Well, same here. yeah. yeah.

Skot Waldron (00:29.287)
Best today. What's, what's, what's your push? What's your goal?

Lida Citroën (00:32.906)
My push is the book. The book the book book. Yeah. The book is getting unbelievable feedback. I mean, the reviews. Have you had a chance to read it? I know that Trinay probably sent it to you know.

Skot Waldron (00:34.843)
Is it? Okay.

No, no, didn't. No, I didn't get a copy. okay.

Lida Citroën (00:47.222)
I'll follow up with her because you're gonna love it. is such a gritty, easy to understand book. I think people are just like, all these high academic theories on executive presence, there was a need in the market for something that's just like for everybody. So I'll follow up with Trinne and get her to, I thought she sent you one. Okay, perfect. So yeah, I just wanna talk about, get people excited.

Skot Waldron (00:56.894)
Yeah. Nope. It's all good. All good.

Yeah, awesome. Okay, is there a...

I mean, this one's the control the narrative one. We're gonna be talking about, or is it the success after service? the new rules of influence. gosh, you have too many books, Lida.

Lida Citroën (01:25.998)
Actually, yeah. No. I've written seven. I know, I know. Tell me about it. My team is holding their breath if I have another idea. Now the new rules of influence. Control the Narrative is an executive reputation management book that talks about repairing reputation. The new rules of influence is sort of turning executive presence on his head and saying this is how we can all.

Skot Waldron (01:38.453)
My gosh. beautiful. Okay. Okay. All right.

Lida Citroën (01:55.17)
have a voice and make ourselves heard and yeah, maybe change the world for the positive. Wouldn't that be cool?

Skot Waldron (02:00.677)
Wow. Imagine that. Okay. All right. I love it. Okay. Cool. Then we'll hit on that quite a bit. cause they do want to dig into that. The idea of influence is one of my favorites. I, I've been speaking a lot on that too lately and it's just like so fun to talk about. so.

Lida Citroën (02:09.154)
Perfect. Good.

It is, and a lot of people don't understand it. They think it's positional influence. yeah, we'll unpack that. I want to learn from you then too. I'm going to take notes.

Skot Waldron (02:24.037)
Yes, exactly. Well, no, no, don't you dare. I want to hear all about you. so we're gonna, we'll do that. It goes around 30, 40 minutes, 35. What? don't know. We just kind of hit around that spot and then, we'll flow from there and I'll do an intro and outro after. So don't worry about that. And do you know anything else?

Lida Citroën (02:38.786)
Whatever you want.

Okay.

Skot Waldron (02:53.276)
you need from me.

Lida Citroën (02:53.912)
No, I'll take the questions as they come and we'll have a conversation.

Skot Waldron (02:58.163)
Okay. You seem like you've done this before, so it seems like you're, you're probably nice. Okay. Very cool. how many on average do do when you're promoting a new book?

Lida Citroën (03:01.598)
A few times. Yeah. You're my first one today though. Yes.

It can be two to three a day is tough because I forget if I've already said something and they're all different genres, right? Some are international, some are women focused, you know, and when you and I talked originally, I mean, I, got a really good sense of, of, know, what you're looking for, but everybody's got something different. So yeah.

Skot Waldron (03:17.342)
Yeah. Is there, is your PR company set these up for you?

Lida Citroën (03:35.218)
actually my publisher has been helping, but I am, I am possibly going to be doing PR next year. Yeah. Yeah.

Skot Waldron (03:37.481)
Your publisher.

Okay. All right. Cool. Yeah. I just published my first book in a year ago, actually almost a year ago. And, you know, you people that write seven are crazy.

Lida Citroën (03:55.266)
But it's a, I mean, it's not a formula, but there's a way to do it. And I think the difference is, and it all depends on the publisher, if you're self publishing or who the publisher is. So we can always have that conversation. You self publish.

Skot Waldron (04:02.515)
Really? I self, I self published. Yeah, I was self publishing. Yeah, I just, didn't have the patience to wait for a publisher and I didn't want to sell, have to sell my idea and go out there and do it all. And I was just like, I just want to get it done. And I got it done in like three months and it was fine. So, yeah. So I just knocked it out. but no, no, I haven't. It's a glorified business card for me right now. I'm not, I'm not.

Lida Citroën (04:19.768)
Good for you. that's wonderful. Have you been using PR? OK.

Skot Waldron (04:31.923)
I'm not pushing it hard. use it. My event planners purchase them and I give them, they'll use them for my clients, for my coaching clients. I use it as a medium for that. And then, you know, glorified business card for me. That's the way this one was set up. So, yeah, anything I can get knowledge out of you would be fantastic one day.

Lida Citroën (04:40.462)
Sure. Well. 

Okay, perfect.

I am happy to share what we've done that worked and what we've done that hasn't worked. And there's been a lot of money attached to it. So yeah.

Skot Waldron (04:59.545)
that would be amazing.

Yeah, I bet. I bet. bet. Okay. Well, cool. Let's do this thing. Thank you so much for serving me and serving my audience. I appreciate you. and so I'm gonna hit clip here and we're going to go.

Lida Citroën (05:06.914)
Yep. Of course. Of course.

Skot Waldron (05:19.569)
Lida, this is an exciting day for both me and my audience.

Lida Citroën (05:24.436)
Thank you. Well, it's a beautiful day in Colorado, and I hope wherever your audience is that they're enjoying the weather and the environment and ready to buckle in for a great conversation.

Skot Waldron (05:35.485)
Well, I heard today that it's like some rainy sleet ice snow mix in New Jersey. So maybe they're not enjoying that as much. I don't know.

Lida Citroën (05:44.558)
Good reason to stay inside and listen to a podcast. Yeah. Exactly.

Skot Waldron (05:47.923)
There you go. There you go. In particular, this one, right. And particularly this one, you have a, this whole idea of influence is something you speak about a lot and talk about a lot. In fact, you wrote a book about it and we're going to talk about that as well. but first of all, I want to know out of all the people that we talk to, that we hear, that we listen to in the executive space and the leadership and coaching and

And leadership thought, leadership space, if you want to coin that word and all this stuff. Why are we even listening to you?

Lida Citroën (06:24.39)
The best response I can give is I walk the talk. I have built an online following, I've built an in person following, I've built followings in communities that I don't come from. I have lived every principle that I write about in this book. And that is what makes the book so interesting is these aren't theories from academic research done in ivory towers. This is work that I've been living and doing for

30 years, I don't want to date myself. And I think that makes it a lot more gritty and a lot more applicable. So plus I'm plus I'm nice, you know, I'm a nice person.

Skot Waldron (06:59.497)
How did you, how'd you land here? yeah, of course. Of course you are. Of course you are. Well, how did you even land here though? Like where, what led you to this particular point right now?

Lida Citroën (07:12.278)
You know, I've spent the last 1620 years focused on personal branding, right? How do people position themselves for success? And that built off of a 20 year corporate career where I was doing that for companies and products and services. But personal branding is really about making yourself known to the right people in the right way. And reputation management is an extension of that. As I was doing all that work, it occurred to me that the goal wasn't to have a personal brand that sits on a shelf and you check a box, done, built my brand. But it really was to drive something. It was to drive influence and build trust and have impact, whether that's in a meeting or in a movement. And so the book just kind of stemmed from that. Plus, I'm an example, I think of a lot of your listeners, maybe even in yourself, where I did what I thought was expected to be able to get the kind of clout that I thought I could have. I wore the right things. I said the right things. I tried to figure out what this thing called gravitas was that they teach is so important. And everybody identifies matters in leadership, but we can't tell you what it is necessarily or how to get it, which I thought was a lot of fun. I took the courses, I read the books, and I couldn't find something that spoke to me as a person. And as I was talking about this, a lot of people

Maybe they're from underrepresented groups, maybe they're from marginalized groups. Maybe they're just going, I feel like I've got something to say. We're saying there's nothing in the market for us. We don't know how to get there, just like I hadn't known how to get there. And so the book really came from that.

Skot Waldron (08:59.389)
Hmm. Gravitas that where I'm just going to side note this for a second and you know, we're going to D take a detour. You use that word gravitas. I mean, have you gotten a definition of what that means? Like how are people using that?

Lida Citroën (09:13.718)
You know, people use the word and and no offense to whoever came up with it. It's a je ne sais quoi, right? It's a quality somebody has and they command attention and they have charisma and, and people take them seriously. That part we seem to have somewhat of a sense around we can see someone and say that person has gravitas. But the challenge is, okay, so I have people who want to get it. And how do I teach that?

How do I show you to be charismatic if that's not really you? And is that really what it takes anymore? I think there was a day in time where that worked. You know, the person who walked in the room and all heads turned and that worked at one time. But now the landscape got a lot crowded and we have social media and you're finding people who don't have that all of a sudden having tremendous influence. I look at someone like

Greta Thunberg, right, at age 15, sits in front of Swedish parliament. I don't, and advocates for climate change. I don't think people would say she had gravitas, but did she make a name for herself? Did she start a conversation that wasn't going anywhere and really advance it further? I think most people would admit that. So if you don't have gravitas, how do you do it? And that's where I thought, I just thought it was outdated. Yeah.

Skot Waldron (10:39.817)
Hmm. love that thought. and especially as you get into this world of newer generations, taken over and the extras are probably the start of that whole thing, but the whole positional power idea of, you immediately have my respect because you are, in that role and you've been in it for a long time. And now, you know, walking in being skeptical of that leadership at first and garden that we're guarding ourselves and we're trying to make sure we manage ourselves well. And, and also, you know, understand if you're for me or you for yourself, are we here to collaborate? Are we here to do things together? And that I think is that essence of influence. It's, it's no longer about positional power, but it's about the influence that you have on me and my life and that we have on each other and how we're going to grow together.

Lida Citroën (11:27.864)
Absolutely. And whether I want to follow you. Whether I want to get on board with whatever you're trying to get done. And it can be as small as, you know, changing course in a team meeting and it can be organization wide. But you're absolutely right. And I think for a lot of people, the belief was when I got to that position of authority, I got the rank, I got the job title. Now people would take me seriously.

Skot Waldron (11:36.775)
Yeah. Yeah.

Lida Citroën (12:02.028)
And women struggled with that. I will say, I think a lot of women across corporate America, across political spectrums, we all felt that, gosh, if we just get the title, we just get to the place, then it'll all happen. And it just doesn't work that way anymore. We're hearing from someone in the back of the room in organizations who has an amazing idea, who doesn't have the title, who doesn't want to be a leader.

They just see an opportunity and they want to be able to share it. And I think there's real possibility for companies that embrace that.

Skot Waldron (12:39.539)
So do you believe that, let me just see if I understand you correctly. Do you still believe that women need that title that, or that it, that it helps, you know, in a certain environment or I mean, what's, how do you coach women or train women in the space to be that, that, Hey, I, that may be what you think you need, but actually it's this. I mean, do you have those conversations?

Lida Citroën (13:08.374)
Absolutely, absolutely. Because again, it's breaking a myth. And, and well, when I'll ask him, you know, where does that come from for you? Well, I was taught that, okay, but that doesn't make it right, right. And then a totally different example, I remember, when I started my company, and I'm a small company, not not like most people, but I'm a small company. And I thought I gave myself the title of principal. I didn't know I picked it. And I remember a few years in,

I called my accountant and I said, is there any reason I couldn't be CEO of the company? Like give myself that title. And she said, no. So overnight I gave myself a promotion and I became CEO. My influence didn't change, right? My team didn't take me more seriously and I get it, it's on a smaller scale. But you know, the positional authority model often drives compliance and coercion, right? I outrank you, therefore you'll do what I say.

or your paycheck depends on it, therefore what I say goes. That's very different than influence, which may or may not come with positional authority. So someone who is striving for that label, my job is to make sure they understand what comes with that. And if it doesn't match up, the positional authority won't get you there.

Skot Waldron (14:28.637)
What's the negative consequence of that, that behavior of the driving compliance through positional power.

Lida Citroën (14:36.174)
I think that the negative is is probably more for the person who believes it's the path to success. I think the team will do what is expected. The team will live up to expectations because they've got a mortgage and kids that need health care and they keep their job or they leave right. But for the person who believes that I know this is gonna sound really corny. It's almost I feel almost a sadness.

Because there's so much more to leading a team and leading an organization than just telling people what to do. It doesn't tend to bring innovation and risk taking and entrepreneurial mindset, agility, all of that is missed out. So what I advocate for is more of an inclusive bi-directional type leadership where, yeah, I'm the one who ultimately is accountable and I will.

I will stand up in front and say this was our decision, but I want your input. I want to know how this works for you. And that's how we're all going to learn and grow. I think that is so much of a richer experience for most people. So it almost makes me sad when somebody thinks now it's just a job title. You're missing out on so much.

Skot Waldron (15:52.723)
So introduce us to the book then based on this setup. And there it is. If you're watching this video, there it is. the new rules of influence. If, if we talk about that and you're saying there's new rules to influence, like immediately on the cover, I go, well, what were the old rules to influence? Maybe it was the positional power thing that you're talking about. kind of set us up.

Lida Citroën (15:58.386)
Look how pretty!

Well, it was positional power. was, you know, influence based on rank, that belief system. And it was this idea that if you have executive presence, people will listen to you, you know, follow you. The new rules by themselves are not revolutionary, right? There are rules like be agile, be a storyteller, be inclusive, be courageous.

But it's the way that they're bundled and the way that they're presented in the book, which by the way is very conversationally written. It is not an academic textbook. And the rules, 10 of them are grouped into sections. And the first section before you can try to have influence is to know why you wanna have influence. What is so unwavering to you and so non-negotiable in terms of your passion and your drive and your idea that you want to have influence for it, right? You want to be seen, you want to be known for it. So there's three rules that sort of unpack the idea of purpose and why, right? You have to know who you are and why you want influence before you proceed. Then we talk about who you want to influence. It's not everyone with a pulse and a checkbook, right? You you and I both know that there are certain people who are not right for us. And there are certain communities where we just don't align.

Then it moves into the how and the where and there are rules that attach to that. So the rules by themselves, the words, I don't think are going to knock anybody out of their seat. But the way they're explained, the way they're packaged in the book, they make it accessible for people. And I think that's the part that's been missing. We all want to know we matter. Whether you're a behind the scenes person, you're a coder and you just want to be heads down and get your work done, you want to know you matter.

Or you're the CEO of the company out in front, you know, talking to the media. We all want to know that we have a voice and that that voice means something.

Skot Waldron (18:19.113)
I often say that...

Influence is power that if, if we, but leadership is influence. And so if we can lead ourselves well, lead others well, then that will help us build more influence, which then. Leads to power power for myself, power for others, empowering others, empowering myself and using that as so valuable for everybody. And that leads me to my question of that was, that's my viewpoint, right?

Who do you believe should be thinking about this right now? Like who did you write the book for and who should be thinking about the way that they influence others?

Lida Citroën (19:01.836)
I wrote the book for a younger generation. I'll be honest with you, I wrote it for a younger generation. I wrote it for women. I wrote it for voices that have felt again that they had to wait their turn before someone would tap them on the shoulder like I did for 20 years and say, okay, now we want to hear from you. I wrote the book for them. But what was so interesting is I'm getting feedback that the book is being shared with mid and senior leadership and organizations because

They've read all the textbooks. They've done the seminars like I had. They've done all that and they're still missing something. There's a piece of them that says, is it really about looking a certain way? Is it really about having scripted messages that communicate empathy when I really don't feel it? Is it about the packaging or is it about who I am as a person? And so they're actually loving the book. So it's interesting that we can write it for an audience.

Who yes, they're definitely getting it. But there's a different audience that I think is also seeing it. so I don't want to say the book is for everyone. But I think anyone who is just wondering if there's a little bit more left in the dish, and they want to see if they can get it.

Skot Waldron (20:18.675)
So for those individuals, let me ask you this, that led me to another question of thanks for setting me up leader for all my questions. I appreciate that. They, you're welcome. this, this whole idea of some of those people, some of those individuals thinking, well, empathy, don't like you say that's part of the idea behind influence and, and, and doing these things, but I don't really feel.

Lida Citroën (20:22.454)
Okay.

Happy to help.

Skot Waldron (20:47.005)
Like I have a ton of that. Like I don't have a lot of that to give or that's naturally not a tendency of mine is to go out and just pour down empathize with somebody and like, right. Like this is not my thing. Does that mean I'm already kind of at a negative, right? Yeah. Like, am I already digging out of a hole?

Lida Citroën (20:59.244)
Hmm

No, because this book doesn't say there's one way or the highway, right. So for instance, one of the rules is to be real. And I specifically talked about that I didn't want to say authentic. And I use the word authentic, we all do. But you know, Webster, Merriam Webster dictionary gave it the 2023 Word of the Year, right? It's being celebrated. But if I said to you, you know, Skot, be authentic with me.

You'd be like, well, I thought I was, right? I mean, I thought I was being authentic. But if I said, let's get real here, there's a different understanding of that. So I use the word be real, because I think that's what people can understand when it comes to being human, right? There's a humanness, there's almost a... a vulnerability that comes. And yeah, it's scary. Absolutely. It's scary. We fear being judged, right? If I'm going to raise my hand and say, I think this project is going the wrong direction, or I have an idea of how we can make things better for the company, I could get laughed at. I could be tossed out of the meeting. People could snicker. I don't want to be judged. But we have to. We have to be. And that's why the first rule is courage, right? We have to have

I was scared writing the book, I share some very personal insights and stories that I even said to my husband, do I go that far? And he's like, I think you kind of have to. I'm like, okay. And I share a voice that's a little bit more conversational in the book. And my readers who've read any of my six other books are going, this doesn't sound like a textbook. It's not.

So there's always that fear of judgment. But one thing I do encourage and going to your empathy question, I think this plays in. I'm a big fan of being authentic and being real. If I ask you a question and you choose to answer in person or online, I expect you're gonna give me a real answer. You're gonna tell me what you really think, right? You believe in that, you're excited about that. You think that's a bad idea. But I don't believe in transparency.

I am not a fan of being transparent. I think there's risk there. I think we can go too far. So I talk about that in the book that, you for someone who says, I don't want to share everything about myself with my team because it's none of their business. I agree. It is none of their business, but we have to be real with them so that when we do go to those conversations that are a little bit, you know, behind the curtain that we're sharing our truth.

We're sharing what we believe, but we don't have to tell people everything. And I think for anyone listening who has young people in their life, teach them that about social media. Because we get in a lot of trouble when we think we have to jump on every trending topic and have a viewpoint on every geopolitical conversation. it's very risky. Yeah.

Skot Waldron (24:12.979)
I really like this differentiation of be real versus trans be transparent. I mean, I think we, we, we seek transparency. think that's the word we think about is like, why can't you just be transparent with me? But it's really this idea of real, like, why can't you just be real with me? and that, that word, I think that switch in that word is, is really interesting for people to think about.

Lida Citroën (24:17.516)
Yeah.

I think we want our government to be transparent. want, you know, if you're a public company, your financials have to be transparent. There's transparency in business. But where is it written that someone who has endured trauma needs to tell you about that? You know, we can still talk about ourselves and we can share what we're excited about and what we're up to and what we look forward to and dream about. But where is it written that we have to tell people everything?

yeah, big fan of that. Good.

Skot Waldron (25:13.651)
That's good. That's good. love that. Can you, cause you opened the door for me. Is there a story you can share with us from the book that kind of hits home?

Lida Citroën (25:28.492)
Ooh, one of my stories or someone else's stories? Because those were all...

Skot Waldron (25:31.341)
I'm going to leave it open. I'm going to leave it open later for you to just share what you think the listeners would like to hear.

Lida Citroën (25:39.242)
So I would say the hardest story that I shared and the one that I had the most angst around is in the chapter on credibility, where I talk about values, because the formula for credibility is values plus action equals credibility. And we have to live our values, but first we have to know what they are in order to have people trust us and see us as credible. And I'm talking about how value and integrity come together and what happens when we live out of integrity with our values. And I shared a story. It was part of the reason I left corporate America of working with a company. I was a new manager. I'd never managed people. I was originally hired to manage, I think, four five people. And then within a couple months, I had like 10 or 12. And I had no idea what the difference between leading and managing was. And I suddenly had people in my office complaining about each other.

PTO schedule, was all this stuff I didn't know. But the thing that really hit home where the values piece came in is leadership wanted me to get rid of someone on my team. And getting rid of this person, having them quit was a lot more cost effective than letting this person go because they'd been with the company a long time. And that made sense. I understood that part. It was how they coached me to make sure he would quit. And this person had a young family. He was well loved in the company. So here it is, a new manager. Now I got to get rid of the company treasure. And it was awful. It was absolutely awful. I was coached to send him meeting invites that were 20 minutes later than the actual meeting. So he would walk in late, not give him all the information. Today, it wouldn't work, right? It would be definitely looked at as bullying or inappropriate. And I wished looking back that I had had the confidence and I had stayed true to my values to say this isn't right. But I didn't know enough. And I didn't speak up and the person left and was devastated. And when he quit, I wanted to quit with him. I had young kids wasn't willing to put myself in that position. But I can tell you if you've ever gone through something where you compromise your values, you learn you'll never do it again. And

Yeah, it was awful. was and you know, but I admit I did the wrong thing in the wrong moment. And it stayed with me. So I shared that story in the book. Because I think we're all faced with go no go decisions and we know something's wrong or maybe we try to justify it. But we have to live true to our values. That is the only way this works this thing called life and influence, is if we really tell people what we stand for and then they see us acting that way. So I learned a hard lesson. This person went on to do great things. I did not keep in touch. He did not wanna keep in touch with me. So I shared that painful lesson in the book.

Skot Waldron (28:52.389)
Wow. Thank you for sharing that. That's I'm sure there are. I'm sure there are. think that we, we learn a lot from the pain. we learned from, from the good too. We remember the pain probably a little bit more, because of what it does to us, you know, it kills us a little bit inside and, and I can sense that just in you telling that story. I can see that it was still a little hard to say.

Lida Citroën (28:54.68)
There are a lot of happy stories in the book too.

No!

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

And I have to say on no podcast have I shared that story. So your listeners have an exclusive but still buy. my gosh, no, but it's you know, that's where I say that what I'm asking readers to do in the book to go to that place of vulnerability. Now you don't have to share every mistake you've made, but you have to know what they were and what got you there, because you don't want to repeat them. And I learned a very hard lesson. And to share that lesson, if that helps someone else avoid

Skot Waldron (29:25.502)
Wow. It's here first, everybody, here first.

Yeah.

Lida Citroën (29:50.04)
Compromising their values, it's worth it to me to be vulnerable like that. So I was willing to do it. Thank you.

Skot Waldron (29:57.341)
That's amazing. Gosh, Lita. Thank you so much. That's really good. And, and I, and it's a risk putting that out there like that. And you've done it in the book and you've done it on the show and I commend you for it. as an example of. Yes, we, don't need to divulge all of our dirty laundry out into the world, but if we know that there's a piece of that story that has shaped me and who I am, that it can help shape somebody else.

Lida Citroën (30:05.667)
So.

Skot Waldron (30:26.717)
I think you're going to build that much more respect, especially with these generations now where they see so much in authenticity online, lack of realism online. And it's, it's really hard to know what's real and what's not anymore. And, that's a real story you just told. And I value that.

Lida Citroën (30:38.381)
Mm-hmm.

Well, and I think that's where intention comes in, right? I knew that I made the decision to share a story like that in the book. So I'm obviously comfortable sharing it on a podcast I just hadn't before. There are stories I didn't put in the book. And there are stories that are nobody's business and they don't support the book. So I think when we think about how far to go to your earlier question about, you know, how far do we go in sharing, I think think about that ahead of time.

I've had clients who've gone through cancer and their first response to me is, so now do I have to become a poster child for the breast cancer or what? And I was like, no, that's your choice if you want to tell people. If you've been a domestic violence survivor, it's your choice if you want to tell people and do something with it. Otherwise, no, you don't have to. So I made the choice to share it. And I think that's the key point here is it's about being in control, you control online and in person how far you want to go.

Skot Waldron (31:51.623)
You talk often about the desire to make a difference, that we all have the potential to make a difference. And I always, I also say we're going to make an impact. It's either going to be a good one or a bad one. And we can decide which one it's going to be based on our actions and how we behave. what's your thoughts on how we do that to make a positive impact and really live out our potential that we are making a difference.

Lida Citroën (32:19.586)
Well, and I think to your point, know, not everyone wants to be a leader. And I think we need to recognize that I do a lot of work with the military. For 15 years, I've been teaching military service members how to exit the military and join the civilian culture. And one of the things they say often is, I don't want to be the boss, I don't want to be the leader, I just want to do a good job and know that I made a difference and come home at night. And I think there are a lot of people like that they don't need their name in headlights, they don't wanna be the face of something, they just wanna know that it mattered. And that's where I say, think for young people, they're very mission driven, they're very vision driven, they have their own ideas. And when you start asking them about that, when you start sort of peeling back what their view of the world is, you learn a lot. And one of the things I talk a lot in the book about is asking questions and then listening without judgment.

And that's something that those of us who've been around the block a few times, you we forget that, that we have to be willing to say, here's what I think would work or be a good idea or how we can move things forward. What do you think? And make sure the right people are in the room. And then listen, you're not gonna give up anything. No one's gonna take your opinion away from you. But there's a trust that you give the people. There's a psychological safety, right, to use that term that you give people when you ask that question and they feel comfortable enough to share. And then you just build on it. One of my clients had a great example. She had an initiative that she was going to push for the organization. She happened to be a CEO. She was really excited about it. She got her team together and she shared it. And one person in the room who happened to represent LGBTQ community said, that really doesn't work for my community.

And everybody got quiet, like, man, you're going to be in so much trouble, right? Because here he put a roadblock on the CEO's process. And she looked at him and she said, thank you. Please tell me more. That's what I think we need to do more of. That's how that person made such impact on the direction of an initiative by just saying, I don't think that works for me and my community. And then was given the space to be able to say that may be the biggest impact that person makes. They didn't cure cancer, they didn't stop a war, but that's huge to that person's team and what they believe in. Yeah.

Skot Waldron (34:55.175)
And I think even if, even if that person completely disagreed that thank you, please tell me more is as, as a gateway to start building influence. And I don't even have to take your suggestion. can still go off and do my thing, but thank you. Tell me more about that at least helps you feel. Well, now if we are actually listening is, is, are hearing the thing, right? Instead of just like saying the words.

Lida Citroën (35:07.97)
Yeah. Of course not.

Exactly. Right.

Skot Waldron (35:24.563)
But I think that's a values thing of what you talked about it. Am I credible? Because if I say, thank you, tell me some more. And then I'm like, check them a watch and you know, other things like body language shows. I'm not really interested in what you have to say. My credibility is automatically discredited. So, I, I think that's awesome. Really, really good. what is like, what's, I love this cause someone puts so much pressure on you now, Lita. Are you ready?

Lida Citroën (35:33.78)
Right. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Go for it. I got big shoulders.

Skot Waldron (35:54.653)
I know you, I know you're ready for it. I know you're ready for it. What is the bomb drop moment here for us right now? Like summing all this up on influence on what people need to be thinking about right now when they are thinking about that in their lives and work and at home, what is, what is the bomb drop moment? What do really want people to remember?

Lida Citroën (36:05.774)
Mm-hmm.

I want people to remember that they shouldn't wait. This is not about waiting. This is not definitely being prepared, but this isn't waiting until you get the job, until you have the title, until somebody asks you to speak or sit at the big kids table. This is now. This is now the world needs us. Our companies, our communities need us to start sharing who we are and how we are. And it doesn't mean being loud and creating a lot of distraction. It means being thoughtful, intentional, following the rules as I lay them out. And it is not about waiting. You may be sitting on an idea or a thought or a vision that changes everything for the better. And if you don't share that, then we all lose.

Skot Waldron (37:03.667)
Brilliant. How do we get a hold of the book?

Lida Citroën (37:04.782)
Thank you.

Amazon, wherever books are sold. It's selling really well internationally, believe it or not, which surprises me. And my website is is new rules of influence book.com website, lida360.com. I'm all over social media. I'm not hard to find.

Skot Waldron (37:26.833)
Okay, I figured. And your name, I don't think people are going to get confused about which, which Lita is out there in the world. So just one, just one. All right, Lita, you're awesome. Thank you so much for being on. I appreciate the value you've given me and my people.

Lida Citroën (37:31.758)
I hope not.

There's just one. Thank you.

Thank you. You do a great conversation. I appreciate the opportunity.