Unlocking Why Leadership Is Lonelier For Women With Lindsay Pinchuk

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Timestamps:
00:00:00 – Cold Start & Intro
00:03:45 – How Lindsay Discovered She Needed Community Too
00:09:18 – What You Actually Get From Being in the Right Room
00:15:25 – Is Leadership Loneliness Different for Women?
00:19:08 – The Mental Load Nobody Talks About
00:22:30 – Why Women Over 40 Are Starting Businesses
00:29:28 – The Advice for Anyone Who Feels Stuck
00:32:09 – Bigger Circle or Deeper Circle?
00:39:11 – The Simple Dinner Strategy to Find Your People
00:43:02 – Why Shared Experience Builds Real Community

Lindsay Pinchuk (00:02)
But they don’t understand my day-to-day. They don’t understand, you know, the clients that I deal with or the bullshit that I deal with. They don’t understand that as a small business owner, I don’t have a marketing department.

You know, my advice would be to start small and to, like whatever that passion is, just start doing it a little bit.

You have to fill yourself up outside of, you know, the job that you have every single day.

Skot Waldron (00:27)
When I’m not hosting Unlocked, I’m speaking at events all over the world. I’m helping leaders and I’m helping teams communicate better. I’m helping them build trust faster and actually enjoy working together. I’ve spoken for companies like The Home Depot. I’ve spoken at national architectural firms. I’ve spoken for pharmaceutical company offsites. I’ve spoken at associations, you name it.

With 99% of attendees of all those events, over 1800 people have reviewed me at this point. 99% of them saying they got some value. That’s pretty awesome. Even the caterers have thanked me. And if they are thanking me and they’ve heard a lot of talks and they’re busy doing their jobs, that’s saying something. If you’re an event planner looking for a speaker who’s really easy to work with, trust me, I want to be the last thing you’re worried about on event day. I’m going to take care of you. And who actually delivers value for your audience that they are going to use on Monday morning when they return to the office, then let’s talk.

Leadership is hard. I’m going to make the claim that leadership for women is also hard. And then I’m going to also make the claim also for this show that community makes that better. And community makes it easier. And okay, I’m going to back out and say, you know, community just makes everything a little bit easier and better. But here specifically, we’re going to talk about women entrepreneurship, women leadership in the realm of and the idea of community and how that helps support what they’re trying to do. And I’m going to have none other than Lindsay Pinchuk on the call to talk about that because she’s so gifted in understanding what it takes to build community and the importance of it. And I think that comes from her own personal experience, which she will share the very beginning of the show.

Lindsay Pinchuk is an award-winning entrepreneur and small business mentor among the less than 1% of female founders to successfully lead her company through an acquisition. She built Bump Club and Beyond from $500 into a 7-figure brand with partners like Target, Nordstrom, and Huggies, reaching 3+ million people monthly before selling it. Today, Lindsay is the founder of Dear FoundHer…, a top 0.5% podcast, y’all. That means she’s killing it and community for women business owners over 40. Through her podcast, newsletter, mentorship program, and signature SWEEP framework, she helps entrepreneurs simply market and build lasting success. She lives outside Chicago with her family, and we are going to talk to her all about this.

We do talk a little bit about community, we talk a little bit about women leadership and specifically curious from my standpoint of not being a woman and understanding what that is to try to understand myself. What it’s like. And then we end on community as well. So, get ready for a great interview and some insights. Here we go.

Alright, what’s up, Lindsay? How are you?

Lindsay Pinchuk (03:46)
Thanks so much for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here. I’m great.

Skot Waldron (03:50)
Yeah, good. Good, good, good. I want to, you know, we’re going to hit on this community thing. I think this is central to your platform. You build communities, you engage in communities. And I mean, you said something that was really interesting that I find interesting. Like you originally kind of had this community idea, and because your customers needed them, your customers needed this community aspect of what you did. But I mean, tell me the story about how you finally realized that actually you were the one that needed those communities.

Lindsay Pinchuk (04:27)
So, it’s interesting. So, there’s two different perspectives here because I’ve started two different communities. So, when I started my first company, which was called Bump Club and Beyond, it was a community for expectant and new parents. And I knew I needed that community. So that was a community I started because I knew I needed it. What I didn’t know that I needed or that it would become is a business. So, when I started that community, it was because I didn’t have any other expectant mom friends who were also, you know, who were pregnant at the same time as me. None of my friends were pregnant. The irony of it is we all have rising tenth graders. I was just first.

And so, when I started that community, it really was for me. And everything that I did was with me in mind as an expectant mom and then as a new mom and then as a mom of two. And so, I grew that business out of a community. And so that was kind of my first, I guess foray into understanding how important community was to business. So that’s kind of that perspective. But when I sold that company and I left, I did so with one mission. And the mission was really to help other women build and grow and scale their businesses.

And so, I just started sharing my experience, my experience growing a business from nothing, bootstrapping a business, selling a business, being really abused in that sale, which that’s a whole that’s like a whole other conversation. And afterwards, I started to podcast. That’s really what I started to do first and foremost. I started sharing stories on my podcast of other female founders. And the whole thing with this was that I did not want to share everything that was glorified. I wanted to really share the nitty-gritty. I wanted to share the ups and downs. Yes, we wanted to celebrate the wins, but I also wanted to share the losses because that’s how we learn.

And from that experience, a lot of the listeners started saying to me, well, we want to work with you, or can you mentor us or we want to meet other listeners? Can we meet in community? And this was around twenty 2022. And so, we were still kind of like it wasn’t COVID, but people weren’t gathering in like these massive events like they had been when I had my previous company, which was an events-based company. And so I ended up putting together a networking event in the summer of 2022 and it was invite-only and it was with some other founders and we filled the room. It was like a hundred people and people started sharing pictures of it. And the people who were following me on social media really like lost their minds. They were like, oh my God, how do I get into this room? This is amazing. I want to be a part of the next year FoundHer… gathering.

It took me about a year to do it again because I wasn’t in a position where I wanted to hold events after hosting 2,000 of them over the course of a decade. But when I did in 2023, I realized that being in person and being in a room with other women in community is completely magic. And I showed up at this first networking event that I hosted for women business owners over 40. And I walked away feeling so filled up and so ready to go and with new connections and new friends, and a lot of these women have become friends of mine.

And at the end of the year, we had hosted at this point probably four of these events. And I said to them in that room, you guys tell me all the time how amazing this community is. And you thank me for creating a space for you to come in community and be yourself and be with each other. But I need to thank you for trusting me to do that because I need this community as much as you need me. These are my favorite days of the month. And now we’ve taken them, you know, online, not just during that one time during the month. And that was really when I realized that I needed this as much as they needed me. I know that was a long answer, but you know, it took a little bit for me to get there.

Skot Waldron (08:36)
But what do you, I mean, what do you get out of it? I mean, sure, I get the idea of community. We are human beings that are social animals, etc. But I mean, what are you getting out of it that you are missing out on?

Lindsay Pinchuk (08:51)
When you’re in a room with other women who are really who are doing what you’re doing to some degree, it is so enlightening because you have to remember, like I don’t, not all my friends are business owners. I have amazing friends. They’re awesome. They’re so supportive. I’m with them all the time. But they don’t understand my day-to-day. They don’t understand, you know, the clients that I deal with or the bullshit that I deal with. They don’t understand that as a small business owner, I don’t have a marketing department. I do have a bookkeeper, but like I don’t have a whole finance team, you know, and there’s a lot of stress that comes with that.

But when you’re in a room with other women who are doing what you’re doing and they just get you, you kind of surpass all of this bullshit and you connect on a higher level much faster because you get one another. And that’s something that I think is so important with community. The two communities that I started were very specific. It wasn’t just for women, right.

Like when I started Bump Club, it was for women who were expecting babies. You put pregnant women in a room together. And like for me in that room, that was like my chance to be pregnant and just not be judged and have people care about what I was saying. I always used to say, you know, you as a pregnant woman would walk into a room or walk into a space or walk into a meeting. And people would be like, oh my God, how are you? How’s your pregnancy? And they would ask you, but they really wouldn’t listen because guess what? They don’t care.

But when you walk into a room of other expectant women and people who are having babies, you say, oh my God, how is your pregnancy? And they people listen because they want to know because they’re pregnant too.

Very similar with businesses. Like if you’re a female founder and you’re over 40 and you’re running a business and managing a family and doing all the things, you understand and get the person across the table from you. And you can help each other in a way that, you know, you might not be able to help someone who’s coming out of college and maybe starting a business. You have different experience and you have different values. And, you know, when you are in community and you are in a space, whether it’s in person or virtual, with people who get you, great things happen.

Skot Waldron (11:07)
So, do you, let me ask you this? Do you think people come together because of the shared pain, the shared struggle? Does that bring people together more? Or do you think it’s the, just the experience?

Lindsay Pinchuk (11:25)
I think with Dear FoundHer…, it’s more the experience. And from what I hear, it’s more knowing that these women are going into a room where they know that they’re not going to be judged. That they feel like a lot of women over 40 who are starting businesses have a lot of imposter syndrome. They don’t feel like they’re ready to start a business. They’re very insecure about their technological habits and their technological knowledge.

And their knowledge of social media and how to use it for business because a lot of them didn’t grow up with it. Most of us didn’t. You know, I built a business while it was becoming the norm. And so, you know, my knowledge and experience with it is a little bit different. And I think that these women don’t necessarily come together around the pain, but they come together around knowing that the other women in the room have shared insecurities and it brings them comfort to know that they can get through it together.

Skot Waldron (12:28)
So, I hear a little bit of like, the experience, but I also hear that it’s a shared experience. It’s a shared, like I understand, I get you kind of thing. It’s like if I’m pregnant and you’re pregnant, we kind of get each other. Like we have different pregnancies, I’m sure. but it’s kind of like, it’s a shared experience. And I often look at things like this and I think about you know, when people start a movement, when people rally around something, when people are coming together in a community, that’s how you build community is like, it’s like that spark of something that gets people rallied to riled up, you know, in a sense of like it could either be a shared anger or frustration, but I think a shared joy and celebration also works. I was just curious about your experience and whether people are coming together because “Yes, I feel the imposter.” “Oh, you do too? That’s cool. Like we can empathize with each other.”

Lindsay Pinchuk (13:24)
And I think there’s a piece of that, right? Like, I mean, both as an expectant mom and as a woman business owner, especially a woman business owner who’s just getting started, you do have a lot of questions and a lot of insecurities and a lot of just things that you don’t know. And knowing that there are other people who also have these questions that they’re looking for answers for, I think is very comforting. I think there are a lot of rooms, especially for women business owners and female founders, that you can walk into and be made to feel so small, so fast. And that’s not the environment that I’ve created for Dear FoundHer… I mean, there are women who have been in business for 20 years and there are women who have been in business for 20 minutes. What we do there is we share. It’s not just sharing stories and sharing experiences. We share contacts, we introduce each other to people.

I mean, one of the exercises that I’m constantly doing, both virtually and in person, is saying what is one thing you want to accomplish this month and what do you need to do it? Because you never know who is in this room that can connect you with someone who can. And I have seen amazing, amazing results come out of that question because these women are so willing to share and not gatekeep. Like there’s just no bullshit. Like it’s like we want to help each other. And I think that a lot of that comes with age and a lot of that comes with experience, and that’s the community that I’m fostering for these women.

Skot Waldron (14:57)
That’s cool. Yeah, I think as we get older, it’s kind of like, okay, I don’t have 20 or 30 years to build this thing. You know, it’s like, I don’t want to get and mess around. Like, let’s if we’re here to help each other, let’s be here to help each other. And that lowering of that self-preservation or that vulnerability they share with each other and openness, I think is what makes this work. So, I think that’s amazing.

Let me ask you this about just women leadership in general. And from you know, a woman’s perspective, I’m interested and experience that you’ve also heard from the women leaders you work with. You know, they talk about leadership being lonely at the top, right? And I wonder, and I’ve never asked this before, but I wonder, do you think it’s different for women leaders at the top? Is that loneliness? Is it different than male leaders? And if so, then how do you think it’s different?

Lindsay Pinchuk (15:53)
Yes, I do think it’s different. And this is just, you know, pure anecdotally from my conversations both with women who are, you know, in Corporate America and working and, you know, executives as well as, you know, the women that I deal with who have their own businesses. A lot of the mental load at home, a lot of these women, let me back up. A lot of these women have families. Not all of them do. And I’m not saying every woman leader does, but you know, it’s pretty common that a woman who’s at the top is in their 40s or 50s. And, you know, a lot of these women have had families over the last, you know, two decades.

And what I hear is the mental load from the house and from the home and from the family really does fall on the woman. And I feel that. I mean, I feel that tremendously. Like, I mean, I, you know, do all the forms for my kids. My husband is very hands-on. He helps tremendously. But if I were to say to him like, if I were to say to him, you know, you need to fill out this form for the doctor, like I he wouldn’t know where to get a lot of the information. And a lot of that does come on the woman. And a lot of these women who are in leadership positions are balancing, and I hate the word balance, but they’re managing not just their own life, their own leadership, and their own team wherever they are leading, but they are also leading their families as well. And it’s a huge, huge chunk of your bandwidth in your brain. Like I’m constantly thinking about my kids while I’m thinking about work.

I don’t think that men have that as much. Some men do because of their circumstances. And you know, obviously I’m talking in broad strokes right now, but you know, but like, I mean my husband like, goes to work and comes home and yes, he has other worries, but like he’s not worrying what my daughter’s wearing to school today. He’s not worried if her laundry’s done. You know, there’s these different worries and it seems so small, but women have to deal with it. And what I hear from women is just how much time they spend on that mental load piece of their family and how hard it is. And how hard it is to manage that and being a leader in their organization.

Skot Waldron (18:11)
Okay. I agree. I’ve thought a lot about this as well. And thinking about this, I want to have a conversation and just get your insights too, because I’m curious. Do you think, like how long’s this been going on? Like, how long? When do you think this like so got established that, you know, women had this pressure of thinking about the home while the men went out and killed the food. I mean, has it been around since Neanderthals? And has it transitioned at all? I mean, was it still as Neanderthal like in the nineteen twenties? I mean, I don’t know. You know, but when we think about that, and well, do you think it’ll ever change? Do you think it’ll shift?

Lindsay Pinchuk (18:42)
Of course it was.

Skot Waldron (18:43)
And has it transitioned at all? I mean, was it still as Neanderthal like in the nineteen twenties? I mean, I don’t know. You know, but when we think about that, and well, do you think it’ll ever change? Do you think it’ll shift?

Lindsay Pinchuk (18:58)
I honestly don’t know. And yes, I do think it’s been going on since the beginning of time. But what I think has not been going on since the beginning of time is that women are in these incredible leadership positions. And I think that that’s been a shift over the last few decades where more women are working, they’re choosing to work. Some of them are choosing, some of them have to, and some of them don’t have a choice. They have to work to support their family. And I think that, you know, and I think that that has been the shift.

Like when my mom was raising me and my brother with my parents, when we were young, she stayed home for 10 years and then went back to teach. You know, it was a much different situation. And I don’t think as many women are doing that. I definitely think there are some that are. But I think there’s this you see so many more women now in these big executive powerful positions. And that is the difference. It’s just different than, you know, than when we were growing up.

I was with a friend of mine last night who’s an attorney and you know, she was saying she has this like male colleague who, his wife was having a baby. And he was like, well, you know, I was in the hospital, I we were apprentice, which is the big hospital here in Chicago, we were apprentice and my wife was in labor and I was like checking email and doing work and my friend said to him, like, why? Like, you’re not going to get a promotion because you were working while your wife was in labor. Like, you have to learn how to balance and manage your family and your time, you know? And that’s something for her that came with time. And she said, “You know, I have kids who are in high school now. I’ve been working for 20 plus years. Like, I understand that, like my family comes first and hopefully you’ll get to that point too.”

But we were saying this in reference to the fact that sometimes our husbands do choose work because they think they have to. And I think like a mom wouldn’t. Like I just, I think that like a mom would have there has to be someone who’s going to pick up the kids if they call when they’re sick or go do an appointment with their kids. And I think a lot of times that falls on the mom if it is a dual parent household. I know I kind of went on a tangent there.

Skot Waldron (21:18)
I think I tend to agree in the sense that I mean societal norms, and I don’t know how this is in other cultures, right? Across the world. I know in our US culture, this is kind of what we’ve grown up to expect and how we’ve grown up and been like, you know, that’s this how we’ve been trained, you know, is, you know, the man of the house or the woman of the house and what their roles are and distinct societal expectations that we have of each other. I mean, we’ve been conditioned. And part of this is like not done women a lot of good. I don’t think it’s done men a lot of good either, because I think that at times it lets them off the hook. It enables behavior that I don’t think is acceptable or should be understood about what we do.

I think that it’s interesting when you think about women and why, like, I want to hear from your side, like why they go into entrepreneurs. So, thinking about the societal norms of what we talk about, how much of like women going into entrepreneur, becoming entrepreneurs after the age of 40 is because of like they’re hungry and ambitious and they want to like dive into something they’ve always dreamed about versus they’re avoiding and their frustration with a system that they’ve been you know presented with.

Lindsay Pinchuk (22:37)
So, it’s interesting because I can speak to this from two different life stages. I went into entrepreneurship when I was 30. I was pregnant and I had this idea for Bump Club, and I wanted community around being a mom. And so, I started hosting events. The events took off. I don’t really half-ass things. So, like I wasn’t expecting it to become a business, but they really did take off very quickly. It was very apparent that women in Chicago wanted this community. So, when this took off and then I had my baby 6 months later, I did go back to work. So, I had my side hustle, I had my corporate job and, you know, my home life and whatnot. And it became very apparent very quickly that I just couldn’t do all of it because I did have a job where I was traveling also.

And so, we made the decision that I was going to leave. And it was kind of like the question was what’s the worst that is going to happen. The worst that’s going to happen is this company’s not going to take off. This isn’t going to be a legitimate business, and I’ll go back and find a job. And I didn’t have to, thankfully it did take off. It was a lot of hard work. I was working on my own terms. I had a baby at home. I was able to take her to music classes. This did, it’s not like this came without sacrifice. I sacrificed a very large salary. I did not have a nanny full time. I was working at night because I was with my daughter a lot during the day. You know, this was the decision that I made. I wanted to be around for my family. And that’s why I did this. I didn’t want someone to be controlling my schedule. I didn’t want to be told you have to go to Dallas next week and then not be around for my kids.

And so that’s why I chose to really push and pursue entrepreneurship. And I was like burning the midnight oil. I was working around the clock and I did burn out. Like it was, I mean, I built a company that I eventually sold, but it was a lot, a lot of hard work. I worked, I went back into Corporate America for 2 years when my company was sold because I worked for the company who bought me. That was a whole other situation. But when I left, I was like, okay, if I’m going to start something, I’m going to do this my way. Like I, I’m not going to be an entrepreneur again to save the world. And I actually just said this the other day to someone. I was like, I am not looking to like, conquer the world of women entrepreneurs over 40. I am literally looking to provide a safe and conducive space for women to grow their business, but I’m not looking to kill myself while doing it. And I haven’t. This is much more on my terms.

And so now I’m over 40 and this is what I see a lot in women business owners that I’m around that are also over 40. They want to own businesses, not because they necessarily want to become Sara Blakely, but they want to have something that is theirs. They want to have something that fits their life. And more than anything, they want something that they feel incredibly passionate about. They are burnt out from the bullshit of Corporate America and from working for someone for a cause that they don’t give a shit about. And that is really a lot of the women in my community.

They have these business ideas, and they want to bring them to fruition because they feel so passionate about them. And a lot of them do. And a lot of them have had great success in the businesses that they’ve created. And I think a lot of that comes from the experience of managing a million different things at once. It comes from the fact that for two decades we’ve been building our network around us. And we have contacts that a lot of women who are coming out of college or younger entrepreneurs would kill for. I mean, a lot of the people that I grew up with in Corporate America are now CEOs, VPs of marketing. They’re hiring me for things within their company. It’s a much different, like environment, right? For me.

And so, it was very different for me this time. I did not want a team. I don’t want to manage a million employees, don’t want that. Like I have a couple of VAs, and I want to do this on my own terms. I do not feel bad when I’m not working. I love to work. That’s a whole other problem in and of itself because like people will ask me to go to dinner and if I would rather work, then like that’s I choose to. So, like if I would rather be working on like a podcast or something than that I’m doing, then that’s, but I feel so grateful that I have something that I love so much that I would say no to a dinner invitation because I want to work.

And so that’s really the difference. And I don’t feel burnt out. I don’t feel pressure right now. I don’t feel like I have to, like I said, conquer the world. I really do feel like I’m in a space that’s conducive for me. And I’ve been saying this a lot lately because I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I am really the happiest in my professional life that I’ve been forever. I mean, this is the happiest I’ve been in my career and as a working woman and I’ve never not worked. There was never a time that I wasn’t working.

Skot Waldron (27:54)
And what do you owe that to?

Lindsay Pinchuk (27:57)
I think I owe that to my experience and learning what makes me happy and learning and figuring out what I need to be doing to be in this position. Like one, I am so impassioned about what I do, and I feel so fortunate that I go to work every single day doing something that I love. And even though I don’t have employees, my community around me is incredible. I mean, I consider them colleagues and friends as well and I think that that’s amazing to get up every day and do something for them and with them, be with them, you know, whether it’s in person or online.

And I would just say like I really did follow my passion. It’s funny, like my whole career has kind of come full circle. When I was in high school, if you would have asked me what I wanted to do, I would have said I wanted to be a journalist. That’s really what I wanted to do. I was the editor of my news magazine, and I wanted to work in magazines. I did work in magazines. I worked at Hearst for 10 years when I was in Corporate America, but I wasn’t a journalist. I worked on the sales and marketing side. And then I started my company. And now all of that experience has led me to be a journalist in a sense because I have a top podcast and I have a newsletter. I’m writing every single day. I’m doing the things that I love just for this niche that I have become a part of and have ultimately become an expert in

And so, without the experience of the last two, two and a half decades, I wouldn’t be able to do this today.

Skot Waldron (29:28)
That’s incredible. So let me ask you this. There’s a woman out there listening right now, and they feel like they can’t step away. Right. To do the thing. They listen to you and they’re like, yeah, I want that. I don’t think I have that, but I want that too, Lindsay. Like, what would be your advice?

Lindsay Pinchuk (29:51)
You know, my advice would be to start small and to, like whatever that passion is, just start doing it a little bit. Like, for example, if I were in Corporate America right now and I wanted to fuel this passion of being a quote journalist, I would start a Substack right now. And I would write when I have the opportunity, maybe once a week. And I would really just start putting myself out there and seeing where it goes. You have to fill yourself up outside of, you know, the job that you have every single day. And I think that that’s very important. So, if you are impassioned by something, which most of us are, but if there’s something that you do want and it’s keeping you up at night and you have an idea, find a way to fuel it even just a little bit.

I’m going to give you an example, another example. I have like the rest of the world, and I said I never would, but I learned how to play Mahj this summer. And I had a teacher who has this incredible big career in logistics? And she like, her name’s Maj Mary. I’m going to give a shout out to Maj Mary. My daughter thought she was going to be like 80, and Mary is like not even 40 and like the cutest person ever. And so, she has this job in logistics, and it’s like elevator and escalator logistics. And you look at this woman and you’re like, really? And she loves Mahj and she loves to play Mahj. And so, she started teaching it on the side. And it’s become a business for her. And people are hiring her now. And like she can say no when she has to. And she does have this career that she has. But this is filling her up on the side. And truthfully, I hope for her one day she can walk away from her job in logistics. I don’t know if she wants to right now, but she is in a position where she is doing something that she loves and she’s getting paid for it too when she’s not at work. And I think that that’s so badass and amazing. And I commend her greatly for even doing that. But she’s setting herself up so that one day if she wants to take that leap, it’ll be a lot easier than starting from scratch.

Skot Waldron (32:00)
Let’s do a little lightning round-ish segment. You cool with that?

Lindsay Pinchuk (32:07)
Yeah.

Skot Waldron (32:08)
Okay. So, I’m going to ask you a few things. And I want your thoughts. And why I say ish is because sometimes we’ll go deeper on some of these things. So, they’re not super lightning rash, the round. They’re slower lightning round.

Okay. I want to know for community, is it should we have like a bigger circle, or should we have a deeper circle? What do you think about that?

Lindsay Pinchuk (32:30)
I think there’s a purpose for both, truthfully. So, I think when you’re talking about community and people that you rely on and can call and pick up the phone, deeper. Like that is for sure deeper. But I do think it’s important to have a wide net and within that community be able to say to someone, hey, Mary, do you have someone in your community that you can point me to for X, Y, and Z? Because that’s how we get things done faster. So, I do think there’s like a need for both, but like I have a group of let’s say two dozen solopreneurs that I would call or that I would ask for advice. And a lot of them are in my, like, actual work community.

Skot Waldron (33:12)
Okay, good. What’s the difference between a network and a community? Like I’ve got a network, but I also have a community. What’s the difference?

Lindsay Pinchuk (33:19)
So, a network is someone that you have their contact information. I would say you don’t have a problem reaching out to that person. Like you’ve maybe met them in passing. A community is really the back and forth. You know, you are in community with someone when you offer and they give back, and vice versa. And that is community. Like I always tell business owners, you don’t want to look at your audience as like, an audience, your customer base is an audience. You want to be in community with them. So, you want to be able to engage with them. You want to be able to ask for advice. You want to give them advice. It’s a two-way street and that’s the difference.

Skot Waldron (33:59)
What’s one sign that I have found my people?

Lindsay Pinchuk (34:03)
Sign that you have found your people that you just have no problem showing up. That you’re like, so excited to go and you’ll go alone and it just doesn’t matter. And also, that you and this is, I mean, maybe like a female thing, but like it doesn’t matter how you show up. And that is something that I think is very important too. I’m here today, my hair is in a ponytail, I’m wearing my glasses, I’m wearing a sweatshirt. For those of you guys who are listening, this is how I am, this is me. I don’t feel the need to like, show up for anyone and be made up. And I definitely don’t feel like that when I’m in my community. I am comfortable being myself and showing up and knowing that they love me anyway.

Skot Waldron (34:41)
Let me go off on that one. Do you feel like it would be different if it was a mixed community of male and female?

Lindsay Pinchuk (34:47)
For me, no, but I do think for some people, yes. If that makes sense. I mean, like I am at the point in my life where I really don’t give a shit and I have no issue just like being myself. But I do think there are a lot of women that might show up a little bit differently, maybe.

Skot Waldron (35:08)
That’s fair. Here’s a question for you. Harder after 40, making friends or making professional connections?

Lindsay Pinchuk (35:19)
Friends. Absolutely friends. I think here’s the thing. I have made some of my closest friends after 40. And I love to share the thought that like, it is possible because I think a lot of us think like we don’t have time. And that’s the thing. People are like, we don’t have time. It’s, you know, who’s going to make friends after 40? But I have made a lot of really close friends, and guess what? I’ve made them through professional connections, which is interesting, right? But I think professional connections, it’s a lot easier to like, ask someone for an introduction to someone. You have a wider net. I get requests all the time, like, can we hop on a Zoom coffee? I’d love to meet you. Like, I think like that is not an issue.

But friendship is just so much different than a professional network, right? Like, I mean, friendship you really have to make time for. You have to be there for people. They have to be there for you. It goes both ways. But also, over 40, you know it if it’s bullshit or not. You really do. But I have made some incredible, incredible friends through my most recent business, some of who I count amongst my closest of friends. And I have friends from kindergarten. So, I mean I pick up people and I don’t get rid of them. So, you know, and I feel very lucky about that. But it is hard, but it is possible. And I want to say this too. Don’t close the door on new friendships after 40 because even though you don’t have much time, like, it’s very different than when you were in the college dorm, right? When you’re in the college dorm, you’re together all the time. That’s why you have such great friends from college. But even though you don’t have as much time, some of your closest, most fulfilling relationships could come from people after you’re 40.

Skot Waldron (37:04)
So, I’m going to piggyback off this one. So, what about keeping friends or keeping professional connections after 40? Which one’s harder?

Lindsay Pinchuk (37:16)
I would say keeping friends. So, and this is and I’m not saying like the reason I’m saying this is because I’ve cut a lot of the fat and I’ve made that decision. Like if I’m not getting out of a friendship, what I’m giving to a friendship, those people become either on the periphery or totally out. And I have no problem with that. I cut a lot of the fat after COVID also. Like I just realized who I really want to spend my time with. Like we talk about this all the time in my household. Before COVID, we would have plans all the time with like, all these couples. And like it was always a thing. And a lot of the times I just didn’t even like what I was doing, or necessarily everyone who I was with. And I said to my husband, like, I don’t care. I don’t need to go to dinner with a million people and have plans all the time. Like, I want to be with the people who I want to be with.

And so, I would say like it’s harder to keep friends because you make the decision to cut them, not because necessarily like something has happened. But I really have made the decision that I want to be around the people who I want to be around and that’s who I pour into.

Skot Waldron (38:26)
Very cool. And here, let’s sum it up here. I really want to, you know, help people out there have an action of some kind. And so, I mean, I know a lot of people maybe out there they’re thinking, you know, I don’t actually have my people. I don’t know where to find them. Maybe some of them are, I’m going to say, even, I don’t really like going to these big events. I don’t like these things. I have to like, talk, and show up a certain way and so busy or whatever it is, right? But I mean, what would you have them do? If those are out there, they like they don’t know where to find their people.

Lindsay Pinchuk (39:07)
So, this is what I would do. And this is kind of, I’m going to say that this is not like the smallest of ask, but I think that this is a very actionable, easy thing to do. And it’s feasible. And that’s what I think is really important, that it’s absolutely feasible. If I were a woman leader who did not have community and did not want to go to a big networking event. What I would do is I would ask three or four people who I really enjoyed and liked and maybe wanted to get to know better to a dinner. And I would ask them to each bring someone. And that’s where I would start. And I am telling you, like that could end up being something that is life changing.

And I’m going to share a story. This didn’t happen intentionally, but a very good friend of mine, I can’t believe COVID has come up so many times during this conversation, but like kind of coming out of COVID, a very good friend of mine from college who I reconnected with here in Chicago was having a birthday. It was October, and it happened to be an amazing, beautiful night out in Chicago, which was like an anomaly in October. And she invited five of her favorite people to dinner for her birthday. And we all kind of knew each other, but these were not people I hung out with. We had the most amazing time and now we have dinner once a quarter. And they’re like, we’re not like our kids aren’t some like, our kids know each other, but our kids aren’t friends. Like it’s not like that. This is something we created and it’s, they’ve become very good friends and also like they’re in my network too.

And so that is something so simple. And if dinner’s too much, do coffee. Ask two people to go to coffee and tell them to bring someone else that you’re looking to expand your network. That is not a hard thing to do.

Skot Waldron (41:02)
That’s a great idea. That is really good.

Lindsay Pinchuk (41:05)
And that’s not just for women, that could be for men too.

Skot Waldron (41:08)
Yeah, totally. I mean, I totally think about that for applying myself. Cause my thing is I don’t, like, I just don’t want to be responsible for calling and inviting all these people. But if I give them the task of calling and inviting some people, then it takes it off me, right? And then I get to meet new people accidentally and I didn’t like have to force that relationship. I think that’s really smart. That’s really cool, Lindsay.

Awesome. Thank you so much for this conversation. It’s been really enlightening and educational for me. I’m so grateful for that. So, thank you.

Lindsay Pinchuk (41:40)
Thank you so much, Skot, for having me.

Skot Waldron (41:41)
And of course. I mean, again, your podcast, Dear FoundHer…, it’s killing it out there. So, people need to check that out. And your Substack, talk about that.

Lindsay Pinchuk (41:54)
Yes. So, I have a Substack called The FoundHer Files. And it’s really where I go deeper on a lot of the lessons that I teach in my mentorship and in our community and at my events that I host. But a lot of very simple, actionable tips to build and grow your business, to market your business, to gain visibility. And there are things that anyone can do. And honestly, you don’t have to be a business owner because everyone has a personal brand, even if you are a leader in the workplace and a lot of the advice I give applies there as well.

Skot Waldron (42:27)
Awesome. Well, thank you. Enjoy. Have fun up in Chicago. I miss it up there most of the time.

Lindsay Pinchuk (42:34)
Not in the winter.

Skot Waldron (42:37)
I don’t miss it in the winter. Although the new fresh snow, I do miss that.

Lindsay Pinchuk (42:41)
Ugh. The worst. No, I hate the snow. I hate snow so much.

Skot Waldron (42:45)
Oh, come on. That one fresh snow where it’s like so peaceful and light and fluffy.

Lindsay Pinchuk (42:51)
Maybe for 30 seconds. Literally 30 seconds.

Skot Waldron (42:52)
And there’s garbage the next day. Well, it’s good to see you. Thanks for being on.

Lindsay Pinchuk (42:57)
Thank you for having me.

Skot Waldron (43:02)
Leadership is yeah, it can be lonely. So why not build community? Why not build a network/community of people that are sharing your lived experience? Isn’t that what makes us connect as humans? I mean, that’s how we build great friendships. That’s how we bond as family members. That’s how we bond when we go to the bar when we go to the park. Like we have a shared experience with each other and a shared pain, a shared struggle. Maybe it’s a shared disease, maybe it’s a shared event, a birthday, maybe it’s a shared celebration of an anniversary, maybe it’s a shared something of winning a soccer match.

Right. We saw it with the World Cup that was just here. Shared experience, a shared thing that brings community together. And that, it just makes life a little bit better. And I love some insights that Lindsay shared. And this particular that little takeaway of, you know, inviting some friends and then having them invite some friends to that meal. I think that’s a really interesting way and a really, I guess, non-risky way for you, I mean, maybe it could be risky. To me, I sit there and go, that takes away all the risk for me to like be on the hook for inviting all these people. No, that’d be, that’s a great idea.

So, I want you to think about what does community mean to you? And how are you fostering community? And are you engaging with it enough that is serving you? What are you thinking about your business? How are you growing your business? How are you growing the things that you’re doing in your role as a leader? Maybe you aren’t an entrepreneur, but you are out there selling ideas and looking for support and trying to help others. It’s about community. Lower your wall, be giving. Givers are better than takers. Let’s just do what we can.

Skot Waldron (45:04)
If you want to find out more information about me or check out the show notes where there’s going to be more information and links to the things referenced in this episode, visit skotwaldron.com. And lastly, I’m asking for a little bit of love, just a little bit. So please take a moment, follow, rate the show. The algorithm is like that; it helps me get the word out. I really appreciate it.

Thank you. And until next time, stay Unlocked.