Thoughts Unlocked – Entitlement Culture Is A Silent Killer

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Welcome back to Thoughts Unlocked, the podcast where I’m gonna untangle the knots in your leadership rope before you trip over that rope right in front of all your people. We don’t want that. So today’s topic, I’m gonna talk about entitlement.

Entitlement, you know, I’m not talking the fun kind. Like I’m entitled to two scoops of ice cream because I survived that really long meeting that could have just been an email, no. I’m talking about the real kind, the culture killing, the morale draining, the accountability dodging kind, the kind of entitlement that walks into work.

Every day, like it’s a favor just to show up. Let’s talk about where it comes from, what it destroys and how to relieve us all of this entitlement culture. So, what is entitlement?

Entitlement isn’t about wanting more money or asking for Fridays off. No, no, no, no. It’s expecting special treatment without special effort. Let me say that again. Entitlement is about expecting special treatment without special effort. It’s kind of this workplace fantasy land, if you want to call it that, where every calendar invite is optional and accountability is just a suggestion. It’s like, that’s not my job or, well, I’ve been here for years and I don’t feel like that’s aligned with my energy right now. Translation really is I want the rewards without doing the reps. So, where does this come from? Here, I’m gonna give you a little bit of tough love, because you know, I love tough love. Leaders often create the very entitlement they complain about, because what we tolerate, we teach. Let me say that again.

What we tolerate, we teach. We ignore bad behavior because, they’re just like that. That’s just how they are. That’s just how they behave or that’s just what they say. Or we over reward tenure like it’s performance. Yeah, he’s done so much lately, but you know, he’s been here since fax machines. He’s been here forever. He’s done a lot of good for us. And so, you know, it’s fine. Or avoiding conflict like it’s a middle school group project. You just kind of don’t face conflict. I’ve had some previous episodes where I talked about engaging in those high risk situations or conversations, check those out. Or we just say yes too much and then wonder why no one ever takes us seriously. You don’t wake up with a culture of entitlement. It doesn’t just poof, it’s there. You build it. One avoided conversation at a time.

And here’s why it’s so dangerous, AKA why your best people are kind of maybe eyeballing the exit. You might think, it’s just one person. It’s just that person over there or that person over there. It’s no big deal, but wrong. It’s a huge deal. Entitlement is a morale parasite. It tells your best people, work hard, play fair, and watch someone else get away with murder.

But you over there, I know you’re doing your thing. That’s really great. I appreciate it a lot. That person, I know they’re just whatever you make up, whatever it’s you want. It kills initiative. It kills collaboration. It turns high performance into job seekers. They start looking for other opportunities. You don’t just lose one person. You lose the trust of your whole team. So, that’s the thing I want you leaders to pay attention to. It’s not that like, oh, that one person, ah, that was really harsh. I didn’t really hurt, but you know, we’re gonna be okay. It is the culture that you’re building, the atmosphere that you’re building. So how do we fix it without becoming an overall tyrant. Because I know that’s probably why a lot of you create this entitlement culture, not on purpose, because you just don’t wanna be that tyrant, that dominating, fear-mongering type of leader.

Step 1: We really wanna get clear on what good looks like. If your standards live in your head, don’t be shocked when people don’t meet them. Say it, post it, repeat it. You say things like, on this team, we own our work, we solve problems, we don’t ghost deadlines, everybody. And no, putting that on a special mug or a t-shirt or a poster on your wall in your break room, that doesn’t count. Nope.

Step 2: Let’s catch it early. Like, the first time you see an eye roll, let’s go ahead and understand what that is. Okay. Entitlement doesn’t start with a tantrum. It starts with these little things, half-baked work, missed follow-ups that I guess I’ll do it because no one else will kind of vibe. Address it before it becomes your team’s new baseline. Hey, I noticed a few things slipping. Can we talk about what’s going on? Get out in front of it early. Okay, anticipate, be proactive, not reactive. Proactive, not reactive. Notice how that doesn’t involve a PowerPoint or HR or anything like that. No, it involves you, the leader, to step in, notice something and handle it before we have to get HR involved in other people.

Step 3. Reward what you want, repeat it. Reward the behavior you want to see. Model the behavior you want to see, but let’s talk about the rewards. Don’t give your MVP rewards to people who score points without building on the fire, right? They don’t build anything, but we give them rewards anyway. Celebrate grit, celebrate growth, celebrate ownership, not just shiny outcomes or I’ve been here forever medals, those people. If the jerk is also getting the bonus and the team player is getting burnt out, you just taught everyone what you value and you just taught everyone a lesson. You don’t have to do much. I’m still gonna give you a reward, right?

Step 4: Enforce the consequences without the drama. If someone keeps stepping over a line, it’s not a leadership moment, it’s a pattern. You don’t need to throw a chair, just set a boundary. This is personal, you say, but these are our expectations, you say, and this behavior, it’s not aligned with them. Okay. Reinforce the boundary, hold the line or the line moves. Hold your line or the line moves.

Your final thought here. Entitlement, it’s not just annoying. It is infectious. It spreads quietly, it erodes trust, and it convinces your best people that effort, it really doesn’t matter. But here’s the upside. You control the culture. So, this week, I want you to ask yourself. Where am I letting entitlement slide? Who’s quietly carrying the weight someone else just dropped? And what expectation needs to come out of my head and into this room? Because the more you tolerate entitlement, the less your team trusts you to actually lead.

Thanks for tuning in to Thoughts Unlocked. Share this with a manager, share this with a friend, share this with somebody in your family who’s tired of babysitting adults, right? We don’t need to be babysitting each other. We need to be being adults, communicating and listening and being that proactive, intentional leader we all need to be. Remember entitlement, it thrives in silence. So speak up.