Unlocking Self-Awareness With Dr. Derrick Love


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Episode Overview:

"Unlocking Self-Awareness With Dr. Derrick Love" is a compelling podcast that delves into the depths of personal development and introspection. Hosted by Skot Waldron, the episode offers listeners insightful discussions and practical strategies for cultivating self-awareness and achieving personal growth. Through expert insights, and real-life anecdotes, the podcast empowers listeners to explore their emotions, behaviors, and beliefs, ultimately guiding them towards a more fulfilling and authentic life. With Dr. Love's expertise and compassionate approach, "Unlocking Self-Awareness" serves as a valuable resource for anyone on a journey of self-discovery and transformation.

Additional Resources:

* Website

Skot Waldron (00:01.046)
Here we go. You ready?

Dr. Derrick Love (00:03.306)
Yes, sir.

Skot Waldron (00:04.79)
This is a interview with Dr. Derek love AKA Dr. D love Dr. D love you say I could just call you D love.

Dr. Derrick Love (00:17.612)
D-Love, let's roll with D-Love today, Scott.

Skot Waldron (00:19.266)
Dude, that's so cool. I love it, man. I love it. Hey, you've got a new book out. Um, and. You know, because we share the same universe and same brain in some way, we launched around the same time in December. And so you're on the same train. I am, um, getting the, getting the word out and I want to help you do that. So tell us about your book. I'm, I'm anxious to hear about it.

Dr. Derrick Love (00:41.782)
Appreciate it.

Dr. Derrick Love (00:47.58)
Oh, well, here, thank you. And thank you for allowing me to be on the show today, man. I really do appreciate it. And so the book is Self-Awareness and Leadership, Why the Best of the Firsts Examine and Lead Themselves. So Scott, this is a blueprint of how to be more of a self-aware leader and what that means to be a self-aware leader. How do you, what is, we think about self-awareness, what is your moral compass? What guides you? What directs you? What makes you tick? Because I truly believe in this book that you have to define your why and who you are first before you can

before you can project outwardly and leadership. So this book is that blueprint to help you define that your why, to help you look at your why, who you are, and then how do you project it out in working with teams effectively, to build teams, to build individuals, and to know that leadership is always bigger than you. It's more than you. It's about the individuals you lead. And when you see the people thrive, then you win as a leader.

And also, Scott, I did this book is because you know what, Scott? I owe some people some apologies. You know, as an earlier career educator, when I came into administration, I didn't have it right, you know, there was some insecurities within me. There was some things that, that projected outwardly that probably didn't do as, do a well, or I could have been more successful had I been a more self-aware leader. And, and so I kind of want to write a poem.

And I wrote this as a blueprint to help other leaders, future leaders, aspiring leaders, how to really lead effectively in that space of communication, vulnerability, transparency. But not only that, just being a knowledge of who you are so they can be the best version of themselves. And lastly, I believe that when you're the best version of who you are, then you give the best to people.

Skot Waldron (02:40.098)
So what gives you the credibility to even talk about this? Why should we even listen to you?

Dr. Derrick Love (02:49.132)
Wow, thank you. I appreciate that. Well, I think what gives me the credibility behind that is my studies in education and leadership and I have a doctorate in education and leadership and also that I have 20 years of experience leading teams, leading people in the space of education and also in higher education. And so I think it gives me enough credibility to understand the why, to know the why and just on the job training, Scott.

When you are, we can go to school to learn about the theoretical models and practices and things of that nature. But as you live life and you are leading people and you're going through the work and doing the work, that's when you truly understand how leadership arises and you understand the intricacies of leadership and how to project that leadership to way in a way that it supports people and not hinder people.

Skot Waldron (03:44.91)
Let me ask you this, coming from the education world, you have been engulfed in that world. You've been there for a very long time. Can you tell me this and tell me if it's changing? I'm curious because I don't know. I'm not in the space. We, when I went to school, it was, you know, even in to college, it's 70% IQ is what you teach.

Dr. Derrick Love (03:58.841)

Skot Waldron (04:12.106)
And then like 20%, 25% EQ, a little bit of like how to work in teams and get along with others and collaborate and things like that, it might even be. 80, 20, 85, 15, you know, when, when we get into the real world, it's like flipped. It's more like 75% EQ. How do we understand others and get along with others and 25% IQ when we really get into it. And.

Yeah, the competency P has to be there, but if I don't like to work with you and if you're not self-aware and if we can't collaborate well, and if we can't build and deliver on something because we can work, then it doesn't matter. I'm gone. So is that mentality changing within education? Are we still really focused on the IQ piece and not as much on the EQ piece or what do you see happening?

Dr. Derrick Love (05:08.66)
I think there's a balance, we've moved towards a balance in that Scott, because we truly want to provide space and opportunity for students to be able to grow into the world of work. And even in going into their different career pathways, we are teaching soft skills and those soft skills of how to work with those, how to be effectively in communicating. And we're trying to create whole rounded individuals that can go into different spaces, whether they're going to a two year college or four year college and or military and or into the workspace.

And then we also provide that level of internships and mentorships as well too, throughout the four years, because we do understand that as they move into different spheres and spaces of occupations, that it's required of them to be able to move in that and to have that level of collaboration, teamwork, soft skills, how to advocate in different things of that magnitude. So education has totally turned in that space because we understand.

that it's very important to send out or to graduate students in that space who can deliver in multiple different areas for efficiency and for to be able to be successful in those spaces. So yes, it has changed. And we have.

Skot Waldron (06:23.31)
That's good to hear. I said, I said, no, go ahead. Go ahead. You sit.

Dr. Derrick Love (06:27.384)
You know, I would say it's that because we also bring in industry into our into our districts and campuses for the different programs that we offer, the different fields of study that we offer, bringing in industry and seeing what industry needs and what it just takes for our students to be to move into these different diverse industries and getting their opinion and thoughts on our curriculum, how we approach it, what that looks like as a part of our advisory committees, because we want to make sure that we are deploying

the best they enter into those areas, into those career pathways.

Skot Waldron (07:02.51)
Because there's degrees out there, you know, organizational psychology and HR and you can get an MBA and something, but nobody really gets a master's in leadership. Nobody gets a like master's in people development. You know, like it doesn't happen, but I almost feel like some leaders would really benefit from a master's in self-awareness.

Dr. Derrick Love (07:23.637)

Skot Waldron (07:31.754)
You know, like there's something there that I just wish there was a little more emphasis on.

Dr. Derrick Love (07:37.076)
I think so, Scott. I think that's kind of what my push is, and I think in this book, and this is my platform piece in this space, is to say that we do need more self-rewarded leaders. I think when, we've all been, and we've all sat under some good leaders and some leaders you felt like, wow, I've learned a great deal of invaluable knowledge about. And then we've all sat under some leaders that was like, oh my gosh, when are you leaving?

Or can you go back to school and get some training and get some skills on people skills? Just give me some people skills, right? Get you some people skills. But we've all been there and we've all understand how that leaves people hurt, wounded, feeling unsure of themselves, not as confident anymore because of a leader or, well, I don't call them a leader, I call them a manager.

who decided that, you know what, it's gonna be my way or the highway, or, and not really trying to focus on how do we work collaboratively, effectively together. Wanna be the smartest person in the room, the egotistical mindset, prideful, and all of those things never leads to sustainability and effective change. And so people move into this complacency or kind of a complacency end or a compliant behavior because I don't wanna get fired.

But that doesn't create an innovative, concreative atmosphere where people are thriving in. There's a culture and climate that is energized, is synergized that truly moves the organization forward. And so I do believe that it's not a concept, people say like a concept of self-awareness, but I think if we live that, we embody that, we get to change people and change people for the better.

And I think as we all embrace this level of change, then I think we in turn create a more effective and global society of leaders who are self-aware, knowledgeable and willing to put good things out there.

Skot Waldron (09:39.862)
Good. Let's talk about the book a little bit. You type into a couple of different topics in the book. And the first one you talk about is leadership beyond authority. Uh, so it's not about positional power anymore, right? It like, and I think the old school way industrial age was kind of like you walked into the office of the CEO and they immediately demanded respect because of the title, um, and you walked to your like,

Dr. Derrick Love (09:42.657)

Dr. Derrick Love (09:53.205)

Dr. Derrick Love (10:04.421)

Skot Waldron (10:08.65)
Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. I'm on it. Whatever. And it's not necessarily about that anymore. What expand on that first principle from the book.

Dr. Derrick Love (10:19.252)
No, it's not about the positional authority. It's about the individual, the person. I think when you are a self-aware leader, you hold a level of confidence and you exude a level of confidence in that, in that you don't have to be the smartest person in the room, right? You don't have to be the one that's the front runner leading from the front. You can be in the, if you're in a line, you can be in the middle, you can be at the back. But how you facilitate and orchestrate that is what determines success for you.

And I think that when we are self aware leaders, we're able to truly dive into people and to extract the best out of people so they can all thrive and be effective in the workplace. Not only professionally, but personally as well too. So this all kind of antiquated way of I'm the CEO, it's my way or the highway. In today's age and time, when you think about the different generations, right? And you know, X, Y and everybody else behind there.

They're not tolerating that any longer like that. No, they've been raised into a culture where as how do we work together? How's my talent and skillset best support the organization and what does it look like? And so everybody has value, has value, a part of that team. It's how the leader extracts that level of value and then allow them to have that reign to be successful.

And then you coach and ask them if they need some help or resources or they needing to be more successful. But that whole antiquated way of leading, I'm the CEO, you give me that level of respect. I do believe that it's still prevalent. I won't say that's that. I do believe it's prevalent. But I think there is a shift in that, in that those CEOs wanna be thought partners in the room. They want to be.

more considered as a like I said a thought partner and what does that look like and how do I support what are you needing because If you take care of people they'll take care of you And when you do that you will see the growth and the incremental growth and the continued level of growth Because you are poured into those individuals

Skot Waldron (12:37.182)
the term thought partner, being a thought partner, a lot of us think of, I'm a thought leader. I want to be a thought leader. I want to be the one blazing the trail. But when I think about thought partner, then I'm bringing other people on the trail with me. We're collaborating together. We're building this thing together. And there's some, uh, there's some shared responsibility, some shared, you know, authority, some shared reward. There's some buy-in. I think that's smart.

I liked that. I liked that a lot. So that goes into personal growth and leadership is one of the other points you put in here. It always, I always think about this as a coach. I didn't think about this as much before. Of course I'm in the coaching space now, but I'm going, why doesn't every single leader have a coach? Like if you want to be a high performer, why don't you have a coach?

Dr. Derrick Love (13:16.744)

Skot Waldron (13:29.394)
Every high performing athlete, namely one high performing athlete that does not have a coach. They don't have them and we sit there and admire them. We watch them on TV and we wonder how they're so good and we don't even think twice about them having a coach. But yet I can run a half billion dollar company and I don't think I need a coach. I have a lot of responsibility, a lot of people and I don't know. That's a big deal to me. So

Dr. Derrick Love (13:35.324)
I can't.

Skot Waldron (13:57.454)
When we talk about personal growth and leadership, how does that play into the idea of self-awareness and how we lead our people?

Dr. Derrick Love (14:05.752)
But I think one of the great things about, I mean, Scott, not say great, the great things, I think everybody needs a coach, right? Everybody needs someone as a thought partner just to pass ideas through. Because as a leader, as you know, and leading sometimes is a lonely place, a lonely spot in the organization. And you need someone to bounce ideas off of, that, hey, this is my business, what I may be thinking, this is what I'm...

I'm not aware of or I'm not on this level of uncertainty. And just so that thought partner can provide you with a space, a safe space to be able to ask the critical questions that sometimes that other people may not ask those critical questions or those tough questions to maybe get to a better thought processing. And so when you think of leaders who don't think they need any coaching, then I'm-

I'm a little bit fearful of that, right? Because what you're saying, what you're putting out there is that, I don't need anybody, I'm good, right? I don't, why is that not needed? And I do believe that everybody needs a thought partner in the room or a thought partner that they can go to or a mentor that they can ask questions of, because there are times that you're not gonna know. And I think sometimes when you rely on your own decision-making processes, that...

that are sometimes can be jaded or biased, then that leads to wrongful decisions, that leads to wrongful thinking, and what I call kind of like stinking thinking. And it doesn't help the organization thrive or grow. And then you're wondering why the outcome or the byproduct of what you're trying to achieve doesn't really take root, or doesn't take any, you know, doesn't get any momentum in that. And that's because you are

because you thinking that you are it, you know, and I think go back to that goes back to is the pride, the ego. And I, and so when I became, when I got into leadership at 26 year old Scott Leavener as a principal, that was me. It was, you're going to do it my way. I'm the principal. I'm going to show you who I am. I got something to prove, that mindset and mentality. And it wasn't till I got to at 26 and I got faced with a baby boomer.

Dr. Derrick Love (16:26.268)
and she rocked my world. And it was the clashing piece. And so in that, you know, the clashing and communication. And so I wanted to be effective, you know, Scott, and I didn't want to be not, you know. So I had to learn diverse ways of how to communicate in no generational gaps and what that looked like. And then I had to really let go of derrick and pride and ego. I had to let tell D-Love, hey, get some words to now.

That's bring on Derek. And so Derek came into the picture and understood that to be able to move people to get the best out of people, that I had to work within those individuals. And I had to let go of me and to embrace the we and the us. And then that's how I was able to be successful, to learn to be more successful. Thank you.

Skot Waldron (17:19.822)
love this because it takes that whole idea takes me into this, your idea of leadership as an art form. And I love that idea. I'm coming from the artistic background that I do and things like that. And I never really thought about it that way. Like it's an art form. Why, why do you say that?

Dr. Derrick Love (17:27.255)

Dr. Derrick Love (17:39.448)
Because it's how you paint the canvas, right? So how you paint the canvas determines the outcome of what it's going to be, right? And so I want the canvas to look beautiful. I want it to see that there's a level of productive struggle in that piece. But in that, it's an art form. And how do I strategically and intentionally communicate? What does that look like? How does that feel like?

And so that my intentionality is critical and it's an art form to how we do that. It's an art form to how we pursue it. It's an art form to how we deliver it. It's an art form to how we communicate it. And so you have to be able to kind of hone in on your art. It's like the craft. It's to hone in on your art and your craft to be successful.

It's a continuous level of improvement, right? We're always evolving, we're always continually to try to improve that. And so I look at that is that my canvas has many different rays of colors, it has many different strokes. And so I wanna make sure that canvas looks the best in that I'm putting the best foot forward in that creative space and the best foot forward and making sure that

that I'm trying to get it right every single time and being reflective in the process too. So I may look at that canvas and say, mm, yeah, that red don't look too good right there. That red kind of represented an attitude or perspective that I didn't like. And so let me change that red. Let me paint that color blue. And then that blue represent a new me, a new perspective, a new thought process that I believe would truly make valuable change.

Skot Waldron (19:28.754)
And what does self-awareness have to do with all this? It's kind of a, I'm giving you a softball, I'm lobbing it to you here. Self-awareness, what's the key to all that?

Dr. Derrick Love (19:42.092)
Wow, I think self-awareness is the key to all, I mean, the key in self-awareness is, I think being self-aware about who you are to be able to pivot in real time, to be able to change in real time as things are occurring and are happening. And a self-aware leader is not one that's not willing to pivot, but one who's willing to pivot to make sure that the fulfillment of the organization, the fulfillment of the individuals that they're working with or supervising or overseeing,

that those individuals are thriving in the most productive manner and the most productive means. I think a subaward leader is also that reflective practitioner who always reflects on his or her practices and reflects on his or her decision-making processes and willing to think outside the box and tap into innovation and creativity within the individuals that they are serving or working alongside.

And so for me, self-awareness to me, Scott, is everything. I don't know where I would be if I wasn't self-aware in leadership. And I don't know, because some leaders believe that you don't need that. That's philosophical. That's much, you don't need that. That ain't, that's.

That's the misconceptions that people are throwing away or something that they may have those perceptions about. But I think in order to get the best out of people, you have to be self-aware. I mean, I don't, you have to be able to tap into people to get the best out of people, to be able to lead them effectively. And that also begins with leading you the individual first. Because we all have our own insecurities, right? We all have our own personal biases and things of that magnitude.

And if we don't check those, then we bring those and we project those outwilling, ornate people. And so we have to be very cognizant as leaders that we don't damage or hurt, but we uplift, we motivate and we inspire.

Skot Waldron (21:51.958)
This all leads to the big idea of empowerment and potential. This all leads to, I would assume it's the empowerment and potential of myself as a leader, but the empowerment and potential of others that I lead. What's your angle on that one?

Dr. Derrick Love (22:12.36)
on my ego and the empowerment of people or their perspective.

Skot Waldron (22:15.45)
Then just, just the last concept of empowerment and potential, um, how, and how you talk about that in the book and how you leverage that as a point to understand self-awareness.

Dr. Derrick Love (22:26.424)
So I think empowerment is very important. You wanna be able to empower the people that you lead. You wanna be able to inspire them in such a way that motivates them to create effective change and to be reflective as well too. Cause I think once you exemplify that from within, then that portrays outwardly, right? And so as you put that, as you invest into the next person, then the next person invests into the same next person. And so we begin this chain reaction of

providing support, providing encouragement, providing empowerment, providing that level of risk-taking. And so that kind of propels you to grow. And I think this level of empowerment, motivation and inspiration is critical and key as a self-aware leader that we continue to perpetuate that not only in ourselves, but in the others that we lead in turn, they are doing the same thing. And it's amazing to watch. And as a leader, you know,

that when you are living that and you see that actively and you are modeling that behaviors, right? And then when you're seeing the people that you lead model those same behaviors, it's amazing to watch and see and the traits that they pick up and the habits that they form because of what's been modeled and demonstrated before them. And so it's just an excitement to see that. And then as they do that and they're leading their groups and they're managing their teams.

you see that level of, I want to say, contagiality. It kind of, it just kind of morphs into everything that you do and the other people morph into everything they do. And it's amazing to watch, Scott. It's amazing to see it happen in real time.

Skot Waldron (24:10.414)
I'm putting you on the spot here. Do you have a story of where you've seen that happen? Whether you've witnessed it happen with another leader that you were working with or whether you experienced that as being the leader yourself.

Dr. Derrick Love (24:11.821)
Go ahead.

Dr. Derrick Love (24:24.152)
Mm-hmm. So for example, I've watched this past year, I was, you know, she's one of my lives under me and that's several. Like, oh, yeah. But just her one in particular. Right. And so we would go into meetings, got in. And she would look to me towards that kind of help talk. And I was kind of like.

Mm, okay. And I would go on and just kind of lead the meetings. But when she found that level of self confidence, resilience about her, and that's the level of constantly empowering her, you got this. Let's talk about beforehand the meeting. Um, but Scott, when she got into that, that last meeting and she led the meeting, I mean, and she was talking, we was talking, it was, it was about a partnership meeting. It was partnership with the university, um, about a four year degree plan to

So our students can receive bachelor's degrees when they, I mean, after they graduate, or year after they graduate. So it's a five-year program. And so when she was leading the discussion and the questions that she was asking the representative of the university and how she was kind of intentional and thought process in that piece, and it was just amazing to see her thrive in that space. And afterwards, I said, you know what, you're ready. You don't need me anymore.

You got this. And so now she's ready to fly on her own and she's doing well, succeeding, thriving. And then she's leading other leaders in that same space as well too. Leading principals in that space as well too. So it was just, I was so excited and proud when she did that. And yeah, that gives me, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Skot Waldron (26:14.222)
That's amazing. I could see your countenance change a little bit when you were talking about it.

Dr. Derrick Love (26:21.164)
Yeah, I mean, it's good. I don't mean, I don't, yeah. It's good.

Skot Waldron (26:26.278)
The pride, it's that serotonin kick that we get, that pride hormone that kicks in. It's not about the arrogance, it's about, it's a humble pride of she did it, you know? But you as the intentional leader went into what I'll usually say with my individuals is that when you see somebody that's struggling, they could...

Dr. Derrick Love (26:31.276)

Dr. Derrick Love (26:41.362)

Skot Waldron (26:53.526)
Potentially fall into what we call the pit of despair and they really need three things in that time is time, vision and encouragement. And it seems, sounds like you gave her those elements. You gave her those ingredients of time, vision and encouragement to help her feel that she's got this, you know, did she ever mess up? I'm sure she messed up a little bit, but it wasn't so bad that she crushed her potential of ever being able to do it again. We all mess up a little bit, recognize it, learn from it.

Dr. Derrick Love (26:56.001)

Dr. Derrick Love (27:09.641)

Dr. Derrick Love (27:13.002)

Skot Waldron (27:22.926)
time vision, encouragement helps people move beyond that thing and, uh, know that it's okay. Um, creating that psychological safety, the safe space to be able to do that. So thanks for being the leader that you are. That's awesome. I love.

Dr. Derrick Love (27:37.524)
Yeah, I think it was just the continuum. And so we had, you know, leading up to that final meeting, there were several meetings that we had. And so she would dive in a little bit incrementally, kind of put her toe into conversations, right? Her pinky toe into conversations. But when she put her whole toe into it, so it was just phenomenal to watch her work. And I didn't speak at all. I just kind of sat back and said, okay, you got it. And...

It was just, you know, I truly love to see people thrive in that space. I love to see them grow. I love to see them tap into that inner self that they thought wasn't there, they didn't have it, you know, or they felt that, mm, I don't think I can do it. But to give them that, like you said, the time, the space, the energy and the practice to be able to do that. And then when you see the reality of the fruitfulness of that.

and it comes to right, and it's happening in real time. I write right before you and you see them do it. It's just, it's the artwork, it's the masterful. It's just, it's good. And so, yeah, it was a great day that day, you know, to watch her do that. And so she is moving forward. She sets up her own meetings with the stuff. She, I just check in and say, how is it going? How can I help you? How can I support you? But yeah, it's good stuff.

Skot Waldron (29:01.73)
That's the best. Um, empower your people and watch them fly. Watch them fly. So the show is called unlocked because that's what we do. We unlock the potential of people. And it sounds like that's what you did for her. She had to have the courage to step out of the cage, right? But she, once she did it, um, you helped her be able to fly and do that thing. And that's what it's all about. So I appreciate that. How, how can people get in touch with you? How do they get ahold of the book?

Dr. Derrick Love (29:06.912)

Dr. Derrick Love (29:14.241)

Dr. Derrick Love (29:18.84)

Skot Waldron (29:30.934)
But what are some ways people can do that?

Dr. Derrick Love (29:34.44)
Yes, they can get a hold of the best way to get up touching me was on my website, which is www. You can send me an email through there You can buy the book on Amazon or any other bookstore retail that you choose But yeah, you can pick up the book On my website has you can also purchase the book on the website as well, too And yeah, so hey if you need some help at literature development executive coaching

and you want to determine your why and how what that looks like to be able to move the organization and leverage those skills to move the organization to the next level, reach out.

Skot Waldron (30:14.818)
Cool, cool. And you got a podcast as well, people can check out.

Dr. Derrick Love (30:17.7)
Yeah, I have a podcast on, which is called the Dr. Love Show. We are currently in production of recording those shows. And so yeah, be on the lookout for that. That will also be on my website as well too. And so yeah.

Skot Waldron (30:32.49)
Okay, the Dr. Love show. Will you be given relationship advice on this show? All right. Okay, well, I don't know, man. With the name, you gotta, I don't know.

Dr. Derrick Love (30:36.472)
Ah, Scott, I don't know about that one. No, we don't give wet advice. Yeah, no, sir. You know what? One day I would probably will. My wife is a therapist. And so one day we'll probably do a show together and give relationship advice on just how to be more fruitful in relationships. And also in marriage, but if you single, how you can beat that, do that as well too. So, yep.

I think that's something.

Skot Waldron (31:07.126)
Well, I have found in coaching individuals that a lot of the time we spend is on family stuff. I mean, I'll be doing executive coaching and we're talking about wives and kids and husbands and all kinds of things. I mean, it's the things we teach aren't just for the workplace. And, uh, I think if people learned about it, self-awareness is just not for work. You know, um, make will destroy marriages too. Um, you know, the.

Dr. Derrick Love (31:27.081)

Dr. Derrick Love (31:31.487)


Skot Waldron (31:36.486)
unselfaware individual. So, uh, yeah, that would be awesome. The Dr. Loves show and yeah, both of you, you know, just spread the love. So that's really cool. Thank you.

Dr. Derrick Love (31:48.84)
Right, right, yeah. So hopefully so, that's something I definitely will consider.

Skot Waldron (31:55.466)
Well, thanks for doing what you're doing. Keep doing it. And, uh, we'll talk to you soon and everybody get grabbed that book.

Dr. Derrick Love (32:03.448)
Thank you sir, I appreciate it. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your show today.


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