SUBSCRIBE:
Apple | Google | Spotify | Stitcher | iHeart
FREE COACHING CALL:
Need some quick advice? Jump on a call with me, and I'll provide some insight and action. This is NOT a sales call where I try to get you to hire me. Promise!
Click here to schedule a call.
Episode Overview:
"Unlocking The Comfort Zone" with Laila Stancioff is a captivating podcast exploring the depths of personal growth, resilience, and the journey towards self-discovery. Hosted by Skot Waldron, the episode delves into the intricacies of stepping beyond one's comfort zone to embrace transformation and unlock one's full potential. Through insightful conversation with our guest, Laila Stancioff, the podcast offers practical advice, inspiring anecdotes, and actionable strategies to empower listeners in overcoming challenges, cultivating resilience, and living a more fulfilling life. Whether it's navigating career transitions, overcoming fears, or embarking on new adventures, "Unlocking The Comfort Zone" is a beacon of encouragement and wisdom for anyone seeking to break free from limitations and thrive in the face of change.
Additional Resources:
Skot Waldron (00:01.442)
Hello, Lila.
Laila Stancioff (00:03.818)
Hello, how are you doing?
Skot Waldron (00:06.946)
I'm so good. This is like part two of the Lila show because we had you on, I don't know, was it a year ago? Is it longer? Something like that? Yeah? Yeah. So, but I wanted to have you on because I've been following you around and I like to do that with my guests and just kind of see what they're up to. And you are kind of like blowing up.
Laila Stancioff (00:17.954)
Yeah, yeah, no, it was less than that. But yeah, we recorded a year ago, I think.
Skot Waldron (00:35.39)
all over the place, like it's really cool to see you making the impact you're making. I know a lot of what we talked about before is a lot about process management and things like that, which is some of your background. And you can talk about that a little bit, but what you're doing now is, uh, more on the coaching impactful space, um, for one-on-one type individual and things like that. So tell us a little bit about that journey and what you're up to.
Laila Stancioff (01:05.546)
Yeah, well, first, thanks for having me here. I love sharing. I love our conversations. It's very nice. So yeah, how did the process become coaching? That's kind of a natural evolution in my view. Because before, I had these two things in parallel. I had process excellence for companies, smaller companies, bigger companies. And in parallel, I had a lot of volunteer work and working with teams.
And also I became like a manager, director in multiple places. So I started more one-on-one working. And at some point I just really turned to if I can't create continuous improvement in companies, why can't I help people create continuous improvements in their own lives? Which was something I also did in my life. Some years ago I had a very, very disruptive change.
And I had to survive through it and continue saying. And after that, I thought, well, maybe I do have like a new mission right now that is to help people go through this kind of transformation in a self-caring way and still be there and be happier after the change.
Skot Waldron (02:06.402)
Hmm. Transformation. We all want it. We all desire it. Sometimes we don't know how to get it. Yeah. I mean, and we, we purchase things. We purchase ideas. We purchase products. We pre what, because we did hope that will create the transformation we seek in our lives and, uh, you on your website, um,
Find you simply you dot com. There's dashes in between all of those with the letter U. I'll put them in the show notes so people can find it. You have a, your headline on there is transformational coaching for women who are sick of it. And I'm like, wow, okay. Like people that are like hitting that tipping point of fed up, I can't do it anymore, I'm done.
Like what is, what are you finding people are sick of or what are people coming to you when they're sick of it? What does that mean?
Laila Stancioff (03:13.106)
Um...
It's funny each time, like when I was defining who I was going to work with, each time I share with a woman, like this is for a woman who are sick of it. They never needed explanation. They're always like, yes, you know, that's what it is. Um, I think, um, mostly like there's a lot of specific cases, like about work or something in home, but I think most of the time the problem is all these voices we have in our heads that make us feel.
guilty, feel like you shouldn't do something that you shouldn't make a certain change. So that happens to everybody. I could say that in a higher level with women, because there are so many expectations, real expectations, family expectations. Like in my case, I was born in a very Catholic family in Brazil, six kids. I was the first daughter. So you can imagine everything my parents expected of me. They already dreamed about all the grandkids and I had to take care of my siblings.
You're born with so many expectations, like I'm gonna be taking care of my parents, until like today there are things that for them it's obvious I should be doing. And I'm like, sorry, you know, I'm not there. Like I'm also an adult doing something else. So sometimes, but you internalize that kind of things and they stay inside. So even if we think sometimes I'm doing what I want, I'm being independent, you still feel guilty of so many things. You feel so many blocks, you feel like you should be doing certain other things.
And I think that's the thing that you get more fed up at some point that's, no, I just want to, you know, be with tranquility and not all these voices inside. I think that's like the main point that kind of can, this can be so many situations, so it's very difficult. You know, it's not a very specific coaching like, Oh, I'm going to help you, uh, we, um, lose 10 kilos in three months. It's not that very specific goal on that sense because the person can be coming from any situation, but it's mostly like.
Laila Stancioff (05:10.634)
really help the woman, the client find herself, like find who she really is so that she can make change based on that.
Skot Waldron (05:21.122)
So when we want to create transformation in our lives, where did you start with your own transformation?
Laila Stancioff (05:31.898)
Um, so I'll give a little bit of context. I, when I was 18, I said I was Catholic. So I joined an international organization called Opus Dei. So it's totally Catholic approved by the church. It's not a sect, you know, it's all okay. Um, but it's very traditional. It's very strict. I joined when I was 18 and I had a lot of fun there.
because Opposé separated men and women. So suddenly I'm living in this house with a lot of other women. So there's no more like gender roles in that sense. And we split all the tasks. So I was doing finance. I was taking care of computers. I was fixing furniture. I was leading projects. I was traveling with them. So I learned a lot in that place. So it was like really fantastic the first years. Also, they allowed me to come to Latvia because I volunteered to help here. So that's how I got here.
And, but after a while I started not fitting anymore. And maybe it's because, well, I reached like 23, 24 years. So that's more or less the age when your brain is fully formed. So you finally are totally resourceful. Maybe that's when, you know, the problem started to happen. Like I grew up and then suddenly I just didn't fit anymore. And things be...
started becoming like a problem. I would ask too many things. I would say like, why do we have to do like this or like that? I was full of ideas. I had too much energy. And for still five years, I tried fitting in there. So I was reading all the books they told me to read, having all the conversations I had to have, giving up things I had to give up to be there, and doing all my best. But all that time, I felt like the problem. And at some point,
I just realized it can't be I am the problem. If I'm not fitting here, it's because I'm trying to fit into the wrong thing. Because I just am who I am. I can't have be have grown up wrong. Let's say, oh, you're too independent. Like what is too independent? You know, I am just independent. I'm just, you know, smart. I just, I don't know, overachiever or whatever, a little bit bossy, you know, like I am who I am.
Laila Stancioff (07:42.726)
And if I'm not fitting, it's not because I am the problem. It's because this is the wrong place for me. And it doesn't mean it's a bad place because that's the other problem. When you're leaving like a religious organization, there's all this weight of, oh, you're leaving God, right? You're leaving the call that God gave you. So you're going to become a bad person. You're going to go to hell maybe. I mean, I don't know. So there's so much weight. Like if I say, I don't want to be there anymore, it's because I'm saying they're mean and
No, I mean, I think it's a valid path for a lot of people, but I literally didn't fit in. So after like five years of feeling I'm going to leave and trying not to leave and being super stressed and losing a lot of weight, which was a good thing of that, you know, but like I had really chronic stress, like I couldn't smile anymore after a while, I finally realized, no, I'm not the problem. You know, this, this place is not my place. And then I had the courage to come out.
And one of the things that helped me with breaking this, making this go into my head was, so at that point, it's about prejudices. So I wanted to be accepted where I was, right? And then I realized if I want people not to judge me, if I want to be accepted, then I can't be judgy. So I started looking at inside of me to see, do I have...
judgments to other people that are maybe incredibly stupid, but somehow I feel like I'm right and they're wrong and I'm smart and they're stupid. And I found those like small judgments and I broke them like totally no mercy. So I'll give you an example that's like very graphical. I had this thing of, I had never painted my hair before and somehow I thought.
that I was superior because of that, because my hair is virgin, as they say, at least in Brazil. And it would be such a waste of money to be painting hair. I'm gonna have to paint when I'm older anyway. So all these girls that are painting their hair when they're young, that's such vanity, waste of money, blah, you know? Like I felt like somehow I was superior. And when I realized that, I'm like, actually that's very stupid. Like there's no basis for that. So I painted my hair red. So it's like...
Laila Stancioff (10:00.526)
I painted it un-superior anymore, you know, like, prejudicially broken. And as I started doing these kinds of things with things that weren't essential, like that wasn't essential for my belief system, but I started doing with smaller things, that's when I managed to really start seeing what is important to me or not, and what is the part of me that I want to be that can't be a problem, you know? I want to be independent, period. And I don't want to be judged by being independent.
So if I'm in a place that doesn't accept me like that, that's the wrong place. That was my first step there.
Skot Waldron (10:36.054)
Wow. And how did you feel after that?
Laila Stancioff (10:43.046)
after this first step or after starting the change?
Skot Waldron (10:45.61)
After going through this process, like how do you feel now that you've been through that process? What is the end result?
Laila Stancioff (10:53.154)
So the process was very long. So there were like many steps of supporting the change and we can talk more about that later. Right now I really feel like I'm finally able to be me. So before taking the step and before leaving, and I left a 12 year life, I spent 12 years in this institution. And
That's like divorcing, you know, after 12 years. Like I lived in the house, I didn't have anything, all my money stayed there. So I was really afraid of getting out of there and regretting. But the truth is, as soon as I got out, knowing what I had decided, I'm not the problem. And I could breathe. Like I never, never regretted it.
So I did have to make a lot of self-support to go through the change because there are too many things to live, you know, and to change in the way my life was. But I never regret it because finally I can just be, you know, just exist and breathe.
Skot Waldron (12:02.638)
It sounds to me.
Lila, like you feel unlocked. Yeah, so I put the little plug in there, but I, 100% agree, in this story, I didn't know this story before we got, before we started talking. And just hearing this, I think we yearn for that feeling, all of us, of feeling not caged in, right? We feel unlocked, free to fly.
We feel like we're, we're not living by somebody else's expectations anymore or, um, the, uh, what we call the odds and shoulds of life of you should be doing this. Hey, you're, um, you grew up Catholic in our household and this is the things you should be doing because of that upbringing or you're a woman in society, you should be doing these types of things. And I think that when we get.
Those things in our head that creates toxicity, that creates some idea of we aren't good enough, we're not living up to everybody else's expectations, but that's not truly freeing. That's what holds us back from really having, and I always say having permission to be who we were designed to be. Like, do we feel like we have that permission? Do we give other people that permission? Like, we want it, do we give it to other people as well?
Do I let you be who you were designed to be? Now, if there's a toxic person, they're a jerk, they're saying all kinds of things that are hurtful and harmful, that's not acceptable. And I'm not saying give you permission to be a jerk. I'm saying, who are you in your full potential that really is a healthy individual? That is what we're all yearning for and that's what we're fighting for. And it seems like you have found pieces of that and that is...
Skot Waldron (14:00.436)
liberating.
Laila Stancioff (14:03.146)
Yeah, I like how you said the not being caged in because it reminded me. Um, so on those last months, um, as I was leaving this institution, for some reason, I started writing music, which I never did before or since then, I think it just had to be very depressed to write. And one of my last songs was called four walls because it was exactly this feeling of like, I'm totally stuck in here, you know, and I need to fly. So yeah, it's very true.
Skot Waldron (14:32.398)
That's awesome. And now you are focused on coaching women who are sick of it. I mean, you have felt that feeling in your own life, and maybe there was some anger, maybe there was some denial, maybe there's some frustration, depression, resentment, all those types of feelings that we go through at times, which are totally helpful and normal. Staying there isn't great though.
is not what we want to do. I always say anger is a great starter. It's a horrible finisher. So like let's use that feeling to move because that's usually what makes us move. We want to avoid pain and achieve comfort. So move away from the pain, feel those things and now we need to move on. So what are the next steps then? So the first step is to kind of realize what's going on.
Um, kind of the self-awareness of who I am, where do I fit? And then where do we go from there? How do we keep, how do we make sure this is sustainable over time?
Laila Stancioff (15:42.146)
So one of the steps that was very important to me was exactly the feelings, because you just mentioned a bunch of them. And years ago, I thought I was a purely rational person. So I didn't think I was emotional at all. And at some point I just realized, well, if every movie I watch, I cry, and I can't see like any type of violence in any movie, like I don't watch half of the movie if anybody's hitting anybody, then I'm not just purely rational. And as I started to let those emotions come out,
I had no idea what to do with them. So right in the beginning, I define like, what is it that I can do to take care of myself while I'm not able to deal with these emotions? And then I did a lot of work to reconnect with myself, with my body, like, what do I feel? Where are the emotions? What do they mean? What makes them show up? So I think there's a lot of reconnecting with yourself. I think a lot of us live in a very rational, we're educated to be very rational. Like,
Oh, stop being a baby. And it's not, you need to feel everything you're feeling. So I think that's part of making it very sustainable, being very connected to yourself, because what happens is if you try to make changes that are not exactly you, it's very difficult to start them. It's very difficult to continue them. Even if it's a good idea. Like sometimes I have clients that are like, Oh, I think I have to journal every day for half an hour and I'm like, okay, why like
Where did you take that idea from? It just hurt something on YouTube or you feel it's something that makes sense for you. For example, I tried meditation, you know, the transcendent meditation a lot of times. Didn't make much sense to me. Like now I would probably, I have this thought of trying it again, but I'm much more journal in person than a meditation, you know? Um, and so while I was trying a goal that wasn't really aligned with me, with how I feel, maybe because I'm a person that moves a lot. I mean, some people are more anxious, some are more calm.
Laila Stancioff (17:40.787)
I think sometimes there is real procrastination, but sometimes there's just the wrong move. So you really have to be reanalyzing that and see, is that really for me? It's a great idea, but not all great ideas are for me. So what's my version of journaling? Maybe you want to dictate stuff on the phone. That can be journaling or I don't know, talk to an imaginary friend. That can also be journaling in a way, because you're processing stuff. It's not important that's in
Is it important to be realigning with yourself? Because true transformation is really based on who you are. Otherwise, it's just like a small habit change. Something that, you know, as soon as something changes, might fall off again.
Skot Waldron (18:23.19)
Do you have an experience that you could share with one of your clients? Obviously, don't mention names and other things like that, but of somebody that has experienced this type of transformation that you've worked with?
Laila Stancioff (18:37.062)
I can give one example. So I had this one client that she came to the coaching saying, Oh, I need, I want to create a business. So I need to find a business idea. So I need clarity and you know, habits, work habits so that I can sit down and think my idea and create my business. Like, okay, let's start with that. Right. And we had the coaching for three months because usually the program lasts three months, because it gives you time to really, you know, go deeper.
uh, find the real thing and change your habits. And after those months, what she actually found out is she will get that business idea, but that would be kind of a side effect of doing other things. So what she actually needed was to again, take over her own schedule in her own life, because she had a kid, a baby unexpectedly, like it happened and she was very happy to have the baby, but.
The kid was already almost two years old. Like the kid could walk around, do her own stuff, and she was still in, as if the kid was six months old in terms of just following the kid around and not having a schedule, you know, not taking over, taking back anything of her schedule. She wouldn't meet friends, she wouldn't go on a date with her husband. So everything, actually everything was kind of messed up. So just wanting the business idea.
Okay, you can have a business idea, but it doesn't really solve all the rest. So as she started putting steps to, um, work on the relationship with her husband, see friends again, have some self-care time. And she had to find out ways of taking care of herself that were compatible with the new life as well. So if before she could go on hikes every weekend, now maybe the self-care is to go to the room, turn off the lights, put some nice music and some candles and relax. And that's also valid. And
So she found out these new ways of taking care of herself. And then by the end, she's like, I don't get my business idea, but it's gonna come. Like I found a step that had to be done. So that was really true deep transformation. And now actually she's already full of ideas, full of jobs, so.
Skot Waldron (20:48.462)
That's amazing. She, she has unlocked her idea bubble. Like it is just like, that's what's so important. I think about the, that some of the work we do as coaches, right. Is being able to. You know, coach people through the process of discovering their own idea and potential what is in there. Cause we may see it and they may not. And then helping them understand what's possible. And then when they see it and they feel it.
It's just like, ah, that satisfaction, you know, it's just like they, they got it. And, um, and it's so rewarding on so many levels. What do you think from your standpoint is the thing that holds women back the most? From
this transformation process.
Laila Stancioff (21:43.966)
I think is, as I mentioned, all these expectations you have inside of yourself, of others, and the fear that everything is going to collapse if I actually make that change. Like if I actually decide to do it. The world, do you know that Asterix and Obelix, have you ever read the comics? There were some comics that they would say, oh, the sky is going to fall on our heads and they were panicking all the time. And sometimes you have that feeling, you know, everything is going to collapse if I do that.
Like I can't, so I'm stuck where I am. And that's actually not true. Some things might fall apart, some things is good, they did. But I think this feeling blocks us a lot.
Skot Waldron (22:25.966)
That fear, fear is, and just that if I'm not in control, who will be and anxiety, because anxiety really all it is, is the feeling of not controlling the future. I can't control, none of us can control the future. None of us. And some of us, we hold that space of,
Laila Stancioff (22:43.532)
Yep.
Laila Stancioff (22:47.478)
Mm-hmm.
Skot Waldron (22:56.058)
I can't control the future. And then we try to do everything in our present to try to control the present as much as we can, which causes us to go be frantic and to be stressed and to do other things. If we're not stressed about the future, we're stressed about the now because we can't control the future. And I can see that with, I see that with my own wife a lot. And I know that it's
bogs her down. She's a very future oriented thinker. Um, but she worries about the future. And as she's back in nursing school now at the age of 46 and, uh, trying to do nurse, be a nurse practitioner and do that. It's like she's had a lot of stuff weighing on her of, wow, I'm missing out on my kids' lives is what she'll say to herself. I'm missing out on this. I'm missing out on that. And
Am I, am I being selfish by putting my career ahead of my family? And do you hear that talk a lot?
Laila Stancioff (23:57.128)
Yeah, I have that kind of talk myself.
Skot Waldron (24:00.738)
So what do you do with that?
Laila Stancioff (24:04.466)
I think it's a matter of, well, I've been working also with anxiety, you know, like, I like these diaries that help you go through the things. So they have different texts. So like, similar to your book, you have, you know, the different weeks and you work through it. I journal a lot. I make sure to have every day like 20 minutes of journaling in the morning and exercising. So I think that helps a lot with anxiety. And I'm also getting very conscious about what is.
um, mental and what is actually physical because, so I read a lot of books last year and I've been putting them into practice, books about how women work, um, you know, the biology of women. So the fact that we're cyclical not only 20, 24 hours, but that we have the monthly cycle and there's so many hormones that go up and down. So that actually affects which kind of work you can do.
and that it's better to do in each week, which kind of food you should eat to help balance the hormones, which kind of exercise makes more sense. And I've been trying to live according to that. That's like the habit I'm implementing in my life. And I realized that helps a lot because sometimes there are some days that we totally spiral into everything's going to go wrong. And I realized that a lot is due to the day of the month I'm in. So it's like, that's not the day for that. Like there's
A certain week of the month is a better week for planning. So that's the moment to sit down. There's another week of the month that's better for getting rid of stuff you don't want because it's the no bullshits week. Like, ah, you know, you have to follow intuition and really there's something you don't like, that's the week you realize it. So that helps me a lot. Um, yeah, I've been working a lot on that. Uh, but it helps a lot to talk to people because we get stuck on our own loop. The journaling helps to.
you know, realize the loop, put it out. But talking to people helps a lot too. So I talk a lot with my husband. I've also gone to like to life coaching to untangle some things. And I especially like the coaching. For me, it's very empowering because I like that the coach is not gonna tell you what to do. I think that's very empowering because for many years, I had to go to, you know, spiritual counseling or whatever. So you have someone kind of an accountability partner.
Laila Stancioff (26:27.818)
checking how you're doing, if you're doing it right. And later I didn't want anyone telling me what to do anymore, but I still wanted help. And a lot of times I go to therapy as well. I go for like short periods and I stop them back and stop. And, but when I discovered Life Coach, I loved it that I could put it all out and the coach would help me process that and reflect back to me what he's hearing, what kind of concepts I'm repeating.
you know, connecting stuff with me, but there was no, oh, this is the solution for your life. And I can find the solutions by myself. So that also helps me a lot when I'm like super spiraling to go to someone that is like a coach style conversation where I can disentangle it with the person's help.
Skot Waldron (27:14.834)
Let's, let's talk about your book a little bit. 12 steps to find you. So there's w what is it? What, what is it? Is it kind of map out this journey of this transformational journey? Is it what, what are those 12 steps? There's a picture of it. Yeah. If you're watching this good job. Um, I really liked the cover by the way. Uh, so it's really cool. Uh, what is it? Tell us about the book.
Laila Stancioff (27:43.458)
So this book, I wrote it actually in a by the way way, because I was thinking after I left that institution that I mentioned, the religious institution, and I rebuilt everything. And just to give an example of things I rebuilt, like I had spent 12 years living celibacy, which means I don't have a boyfriend, which means I was 30 and like I was a virgin, I didn't know.
You know, I haven't been in a serious relationship, you know, and I haven't talked about that or sex or anything for 12 years. So suddenly I'm out and I'm like, can someone please explain update me on the situation? So I really had a lot to deal with. And somehow, after a year, you couldn't really tell where I came from. Like I was looking totally normal. And I had bought my apartment, I was dating like everything totally okay. And then I started thinking, okay, so how did I do it?
So I started putting the steps together, what was the first step, second step. So I already mentioned, for example, the first step of breaking your prejudices to really start in cleaning up your head. Then the step of finding something that you can take care of yourself so that when you're going through the change, you don't depend on having someone because at that point was the first time I started living by myself.
which I had never done. I always lived with eight to 15 people. So suddenly I'm in a 16 square meters studio apartment by myself. So how do I take care of myself? So also that, how to connect to your body, how to connect your emotions, how to build yourself a safe space. So for example, this, we're now in the pink room, right? So this is my office and this is a room that I grew. When I bought the apartment, it was already pink. So pink, it became pinker because it deserved it.
And it just became my like happy place. Like here I have all sorts of decoration I like, everything's exactly as I like. So I created my safe space to be, you know, and to think and to meditate. So in this book, I put like these 12 steps in order. They're really like how to start any kind of change. They can apply to anything because they're different tools for feeling safe and challenging your comfort zone, but still with self care, you know, not beating you up.
Laila Stancioff (29:58.338)
And it has a lot of exercise on it because my idea is, okay, this is how I did it. Now, you, how can you apply this to your life? So it's also like a workbook with a lot of space to write and to answer questions. So that's how it's happened with the book.
Skot Waldron (30:16.43)
That's awesome. I too, I think we think the same. I think that we all want transformation, but information and inspiration alone don't create transformation. We have to have application in the middle. So let's get the information, but let's apply the information so that we can experience the transformation. And so it sounds like that you're
Laila Stancioff (30:35.438)
Bye bye.
Skot Waldron (30:44.93)
kind of in line with that thinking too. And I, so I love that. I think that's great.
Laila Stancioff (30:50.066)
When I was writing it, I thought maybe I do a book and then a workbook, but I'm like, no, what's the point of just being saying this is what I did? Like, okay, and how do you do it? And a lot of people that read it said that a lot of the things that are in the book, they're in a way obvious, like things you already know, but the fact that it's allowing you to do it, you know, and saying this is what I did, see how much it helped me. Like, I don't know, I got a huge teddy bear, which I never had before in my life.
And I hugged the teddy bear when I felt bad and I was 30 and I wasn't embarrassed of it like, oh okay, so I can also do something like that, you know. So I think the book is simple and allows you a lot of things and just organizes also things that are normal, you know, there's nothing like super special there in that sense.
Skot Waldron (31:36.346)
Ah, so cool. So cool. Um, let's talk about the idea of the comfort zone. Cause some people don't like to, well, I'm going to say all people don't like to be uncomfortable. Um, there's certain things we'll do. We'll go to the gym. We'll push ourselves to do certain things just for a moment of time, because we seek the reward that comes after that. But generally we don't love to stay uncomfortable. Um, we're willing to do it for a little bit of time.
And, you know, we check the thermostat in the house. We wear certain clothes. We drive certain cars. We, um, talk with certain people that make us comfortable. Like we stay in our comfort bubble a lot. Why, what's the problem with that?
Laila Stancioff (32:23.754)
I think the problem is that if you, you know, I used to say, if you want comfort, sit in the pudding, otherwise, you know, just move it into something. Um, so it's like, um, if you're just comfortable all the time, you're not going to grow just because, um, you're going to get bored, you know, like after a while, if you're
If you don't have any kind of interesting thing happening around, you do get bored. And if you get bored, if you don't find something interesting to do, you end up doing something that doesn't really help. Let's start with, I don't know, take the phone and scroll. I mean, it's okay to do that a little bit, but you know, you should always have something that's that you want to develop. Like for me, that's actually very normal because I always wanted to do more. But.
You also have to have that balance of how much you're going to push yourself and in what do you want to push yourself? Because there are things that are worth it and there are things that is, you're just doing too much. So I'll give an example. Like I know how to play the guitar and I play the piano. Like I like music. And then my husband says, Oh, you should start playing in places and make a band and everything. And I say, look, for me, that's a hobby. I don't want to turn it into one more profession. So there are things that I don't push hard, you know,
Even sometimes when I play it somewhere, I go with my notebook, you know, I rehearse something, more or less. I mean, I don't take it that seriously. And then I leave the push in the comfort zone for things that are really worth it. So for example, I told you before, we just adopted two kids, which totally messes up the entire comfort zone. You know, there's no more comfort zone, but okay. But that's something that really makes sense because I know long-term I want to have a family. So, okay.
there's a time to push a little bit of comfort zone and the kids are very good at doing that, challenging you. So I think there has to be a balance of not pushing too hard, not to break yourself, but always challenge yourself because I think we also feed from doing something different and wanting to grow in different ways. People are different.
Skot Waldron (34:35.598)
Lila, thanks for sharing your story. I think the personal side of things is what really helps other people want to lower their walls. You lower your walls, they can lower their walls and we can share and build each other. If you want, you focus on women who are sick of it and people that want to overcome that and move through it and change. They're desiring that.
And you have found a process in a way to help people do that. Um, it's outlined in your book, so everybody can get that on Amazon. Yeah. And on your website, is that where they can get that?
Laila Stancioff (35:16.639)
Yes, all the links are on my website.
Skot Waldron (35:19.566)
Okay. And, um, and they can also find you. You are also speaking at a lot of different places. You have a giant conference like with thousands of people that you're going to be speaking at Latvia here in May. I'm so stoked for you and that. Um, so if people want to hire you to speak where they go.
Laila Stancioff (35:35.934)
Um, they can go to my website, LailaMata.com. So there you have my contacts, basic information about me, both about the coaching and also the process excellence part. So there's a good summary of me there. You can just go there. My pleasure.
Skot Waldron (35:48.75)
Okay. Well, good luck on all you're doing. I mean, you've got a lot of stuff going on in your life with two new kids in the household. Um, congratulations on that and, uh, your husband as well. And then just your speaking career and the coaching business and everything that's blowing up for you in the book. So just keep, keep pounding it. You're doing awesome. I'm so, so proud of you and, uh, all the things you've done since we've talked. I mean, just a year you've done so much. And so it's so cool to see what you're doing. So good luck.
Laila Stancioff (36:18.838)
Yeah, it's been a heavy year. Thank you for having me here. Thanks a lot. And yeah, it's been great to share. So see you.
