Thoughts Unlocked – Navigating Trust Issues

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00:00 Introduction
01:15 Why trust is like Wi-Fi
01:38 Strong trust vs. weak trust in teams
02:02 The warmth + competence framework
02:56 Confidence vs. arrogance in leadership
03:41 Humility, pride, and teachability
05:29 Trust deposits, withdrawals, and everyday signals

I’m Skot Waldron, and when I’m not hosting Unlocked, I’m speaking at events all over the globe, helping leaders and teams communicate better, build trust faster, and actually enjoy working together. I know, who would have thought? I’ve spoken for companies like The Home Depot, I’ve spoken at national architectural firms, at their sales trainings, off-sites for major pharmaceutical companies, and industry associations.

A thousand of attendees who have read my sessions. With 99% of them saying they found the sessions valuable. 97% saying they’d actually attend again. I’ve had caterers come up to me afterwards and thank me because they actually got something they could use when they went home or when they went back to their own jobs. I mean, if every keynote delivered those types of numbers, nobody would secretly be refreshing their email under the table. And let’s be honest, that’s a little bit of my nightmare, maybe a little bit of yours. Yeah, something that keeps me up at night. If you’re an event planner, looking for a speaker who’s easy to work with and delivers actual value that people can take away and use on Monday. Let’s make your event unforgettable.

Welcome back to Thoughts Unlocked.

Today, I’m gonna talk about trust. And I don’t know, do I talk about trust a lot? I probably do. You know why? ‘Cause I hear about it a lot. It’s kind of like Wi -Fi. When it’s working, super cool. You don’t even notice it. You don’t even really think about it. But when it’s gone, when the second you have issues with your Wi -Fi, everything is frustrating, everything.

When trust is strong, you get collaborative environments, you get idea generation. People willing to make mistakes, it’s called vulnerability, you get some of that. But when it’s weak, you get silence, you get side chats and mingling over there, you get silos, you get people that are just disengaged, they refuse to turn the camera on because it’s quote-unquote broken, et cetera.

Social psychology actually gives us a framework, and this comes from Amy Cuddy’s research about warmth and competence. Every time we interact with someone, our brain is running a two-question test. It’s saying, “Can I trust you, which is warmth? Can I respect you, which is competence? Can I trust you? Can I respect you?” Warmth, competence. The leaders people trust balance both of these things. If you lean too hard though into your competence side, you drift into possibly arrogance, which is basically confidence with the spray tan. That’s what I like to call it. It looks impressive at first, but nobody’s buying it when they get up close. You’ll lean too hard into the warmth stuff without the competence and you’re just the fun boss. Everyone really likes, but no one takes too seriously.

Now the difference between confidence and arrogance is a fine line. I can say I’m the best at something, and it’s true, maybe, but I can sound arrogant in one way, and I can sound confident in the other way. Arrogance says, “I’m the best at this and nobody can teach me anything other than what I already know. I can’t learn any more. I’m the best. Everybody needs to listen to me.” Confidence says, “I feel like I’m the best at this, but I’m open to ideas. I’m open to other aspects and perspectives on things because maybe there is something I’m not quite thinking about.” It’s teachability, you all, teachability.

Humility versus pride. Am I too prideful? Well, that leads to arrogance. Am I humble? That leads to confidence. Confidence says, I know what I bring to the table. Arrogant says, only what I bring matters. You can think of it that way. One creates safety. The other creates eye rolls, and your team knows what’s going on.

Trust grows in those little micro moments I talk about trust shapes your brand as a leader when you give credit instead of taking it when you admit a mistake before everyone else points it out when you let someone ask a dumb question without making them feel dumb. That’s where collaboration starts to stick. That’s where confident leaders shine.

A practical shift For leaders, here’s what you do. If you want your team to take risks, if you want, if, if you have to go first. That’s what happened. Share the project you nearly tanked. Thank the teammate who caught your mistake, follow through on a small promise so that people believe you when you make on the big ones, when you make the big ones. I, I’d really cry.

I had someone on my podcast a while ago that was talking about story. She was from a PR firm. And this is really critical when you think about, I said, “What is story? How do we use story to communicate leadership and use it in our leadership?” And she said, “Really, one of the coolest ways to use story is being able to empathize. Tell a story about that mistake. Tell a story about when you had a hard time just like them. Tell a story and connect with people in that way. It’s super powerful.

I want you to think of all of this as the idea that every interaction is a trust deposit into that bank account. Every violation is a trust withdrawal from your bank account, your brand bank account. Warmth and competence go together because it’s like a healthy balance. Arrogance, it’s like an overdraft fee. You keep over drafting, eventually you will become bankrupt. Too many of those and it’s a bad deal, okay? Bad deal.

Truth and trust, they don’t come from big off-sites or laminated values, posters of that eagle flying into the sunset, whatever. It comes from everyday signals that say these things. “Hey, I see you. Hey, I value you. Hey, we’re in this together.” But they have to believe it though. It has to be believable. Your actions better back up the idea that I see you, that I value you, and that we’re in this together. When that’s in
place, collaboration, it doesn’t feel like work anymore. It feels like momentum.

If you want to find out more information about me or check out the show notes where there’s going to be more information and links to the things referenced in this episode, visit skotwaldron.com. And lastly, I’m asking for a little bit of love, just a little bit. So please take a moment, follow, rate the show. The algorithm is like that; it helps me get the word out. I really appreciate it.

Thank you. And until next time, stay on Unlocked.